I lost You

Waking up
To the pain
Of the reality
I lost you
As I lay there
Still yet to move
But yet to fall back to sleep
As I look at the clock
I never even fell asleep
I lay there
Motionless
Just thinking
Of every chance I had
But
In the end
I still
I lost you
I think
As time slowly passes
Of my demons
Of my heartache
Of my hurt
Of my …..
Another hour has past
Midnight
And I still think about
How
I lost you
I think
Of your beauty
The true beauty
I look up at my ceiling and I see
The day we first met
It plays as it shows
Your smile
Your laugh
Your eyes
Shining bright in there
Striking way
Your hair
Soft as your lips
I look
And watch it all
Play out
“As I consider kissing you
I shy away”
That where
I lost you
….
Another hour past
One O’clock a.m. central standard time
I think of another day
A day were I could hade my move
I look into your eyes
And all I see is a wild forest
Lively as it is beautiful
As you look into mine
Seeing the pain
And the sincerity
Of my luminous gaze
You smile at me
And
I smile back
You shy away your face
As it turns crimson
You hide it all
And I reply by
A soft touch
To the shoulder
And asking you
“Are you alright”
You reply
“Kinda”
As you look back at me
And smile
“I consider smiling back
But I shy away”
That is where
I lost you
Another hour past
Two O’clock a.m. central standard time
I now break down
And try as I might
I can’t help
But
Think of

Another day
Another missed opportunity
Another ….
We are now laughing
As we are good friends
We begin to talk
A nice common discussion
Speaking of
Life
Love
What happened at school last week
A normal conversation
For two young adolescents
As the conversation goes
Back on the subject
Of love
You
Look away
Because
Though I did not realize it yet
But you were turning a pinkish red
Almost as a rose
When you look back
I start talking
Random things
Such as hand size
And
A natural reaction
I ask to compare
Hand size
You put yours up to mine
And as we talk I notice
We compare
Over and over again
And I smile at you
And you smile back
“I considered holding onto your hand
One of those times
But
Once again
…..
I shied away”
That is where
I lost you

I successfully turn off my brain for a while
And manage to get some sleep
But only until
5 O’clock a.m. central standard time
I can’t help
….


But think of another time
..
We are dancing
Laughing
Smiling
I pull you closer
But in your eyes
You tell me
Closer
I do so
We both begin to laugh nervously
And our sweaty palms meet
For the first time
And it feels great
I smile a smile
That I’ve never
Even thought I could
The best I ever felt was that moment
But
It would not
Last long

As the song slows down
I go to get a drink
As we stand next to another
Awkwardly
Another comes to you
“Would you like to dance”

You stand
You look at me
….
“Yes …. I guess I would”
“I considered asking you to dance, but I shied away”
And no matter what I say
That is where I lost you

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