I Hate Myself for That

March 13, 2011
Somewhere with you,
Wrapped in your arms,
Holding onto everything we are,
I don’t want to ever let go.

Unfortunately you did,
You pulled away from,
Everything we had,
You left me longing for you once more.

Before we’d ever been together,
I’d wanted you,
With all my heart, a heart,
Aware it could never have you.

Then you turned me around,
Spun in dizzying circles,
And you told me that,
We’d be together forever.

We split apart multiple times,
Callous words fighting our battles,
Yours cutting me deep to my soul,
Mine glancing off your shield.

“Loved you once,” you told me,
“Love you still,”
I don’t know why I finished it for you,
“Always have, always will.”

I brought myself to say it,
Those words I meant,
But never got in return,
I love you.

“Love you,”
You would say,
No ‘I’ in your words,
No truth or love behind them.

I dream of myself,
Somewhere with you,
Being held captive in your arms,
And I hate myself for that.

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