March 8, 2011
Her last breath was her first.
After being alive for no more than a minute the angels had her in their arms.
In that minute she was
All ours

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lovetildeath said...
Aug. 4, 2011 at 11:02 pm
I like the relaxed feeling of the poem.
Fayrouz This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 25, 2011 at 9:51 pm
Hi poetrygirl! The first line really drew me in. I like how the poem is very graceful and settles into a gentle ending, but the second line is a bit too much and sounds very choppy and not graceful like the rest of the poem. Try breaking it into two lines and use more soft language to keep craddling the reader into that soft ending .good job and keep writing!
HannahMarianna1997 said...
May 26, 2011 at 4:10 pm
COOL!! Nice poem sissy!
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