those preciouse lies

February 18, 2011
By paigey BRONZE, Baldwinsville, New York
paigey BRONZE, Baldwinsville, New York
2 articles 0 photos 2 comments

you held hands with me.
you placed a kiss on my cheek.
you told me everything will be fine.
we spent many days together.
hanging out, enjoying the weather.
to bad it was all a lie.
i remember the nights you held me close.
i remember the days you never let go.
i remember you wiped the tears off my cheek sayin baby please believe me.
you told me don't listen to them, it will be fine in the end.
i believed every word you said, sleeping softly in my bed, dreaming of you and me, and all those memories.
you told me you loved me from the start.
when you said those words, you rescued my heart, from years of damage of feeling unloved.
i thought you were the one sent down from above.
now here i am.
thoughts of anger in my head.
the truth i would have forgotten eventually but the lies, they'll sit here and rot for eternity.



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This article has 4 comments.


paigey BRONZE said...
on Mar. 20 2011 at 12:00 pm
paigey BRONZE, Baldwinsville, New York
2 articles 0 photos 2 comments
thank you for the advice i will make sure i fix those things

paigey BRONZE said...
on Mar. 20 2011 at 11:59 am
paigey BRONZE, Baldwinsville, New York
2 articles 0 photos 2 comments
thank you so much it means alot to me

on Mar. 20 2011 at 9:47 am
MyConstRuctd_IdentiTy SILVER, Chardon, Ohio
7 articles 56 photos 367 comments

Favorite Quote:
"One heartbeat."

"Our scars remind us of where we've been; they don't dictate where we're going."
-SSA David Rossi, Criminal Minds

My suggestion would be to delete this piece from TI, edit it, then resubmit it to TI. All it really needs is to be edited for a few grammatical mistakes and some punctuation. Other than that, this was a really good poem. I'm glad I had the opportunity to read it. :)

on Mar. 19 2011 at 9:48 pm
Anonymous01 PLATINUM, Baldwinsvillle, New York
29 articles 0 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
"There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed."
-Ernest Hemingway

Paigey this is one of the BEST pomes ever, i am blessed to be the first one to comment on this piece :DDD


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