Thoughts inside my head.

February 10, 2011
Showing signs for you to see
Showing i am breaking, please.
Hold me tighter, keep me together
Keep me warm throughout the weather
I freeze inside and fragile i am
Ill shatter to millions, if dropped from your hands.
Bandage nor glue can put me back
These are no scars, theyre more than a scratch
Wounded deep beyond repair
Anyone can see im not quite there
I want to be happy and i want to smile
And just be comfortable for a while
But many the loved have left me alone
Left me to mourn all on my own
How can i ignore something so real
It doesnt seem that hard for everyone else to deal
So ill hold it all in, for thats what they ask
And maybe someday ill break like glass
But until then im only cracked and only worn
Maybe ill get better, for my heart isnt torn.
I still love and laugh and get up and play
But soon i feel that will all go away
Withdrawn to my room, i stay to myself
Talking to few, it grows by itself.
This monster inside feeds from my guilt
Laughing at the hell inside its built
Thoughts race fast, solutions come slow
How can i smile when they pretend not to know
Im weak and i know this so just dont remind me
But to worry so many, what person would i be?
So quiet ill stay and tell few of tears
Last year's reminders fill me with fears
Stupid, worthless, pointless, pest
All the names, i cant say the rest
If i were to tell my story in whole
Youd throw me right back into that hole
Keep me silent, muffle my cries
But i work hard not to say my goodbyes
This poem is deep and scary i know
But writing helps me to finally let go





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