took it away

you took it all
my security
my trust
I don't feel safe
being around you
or being alone

I was so afraid
I couldn't get you to stop
no matter how many times you said
'It will be okay'
the alcohol slurred your speech
but you didn't care

I blocked it out
never to be brought out again
but the nightmares
were there every night
waiting for me.
you didn't remember anyways

you were my best friend
and you took it away
people tell me to talk about it
but what do I say?
you ruined me
I can't be around people
I feel like a broken toy

you talk to me like its okay
but its not.
and I can't forgive you
but I'll keep the smile on my face
and pretend its okay
because I don't want anyone to know
but its not really okay
I don't know if it will ever be