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Falling

Falling, falling death is calling
Death the deepest hole
Blinding, blinding, life unwinding
Heaven help my soul

Burning, burning I am burning
Forever into ash
Slowly, slowly ever slowly
Nothing ever lasts

Trying, trying sure not flying
My heart the sound of thunder
Faster, faster to meet the master
In the ground, six feet under

Turning, turning stomach churning
Silence the only sound
Going, going never knowing
When I’ll hit the ground



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This article has 19 comments. Post your own now!

RainbowKat said...
Jul. 17, 2012 at 8:49 pm
This is very very nice.
 
FreeBeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 26, 2012 at 7:27 pm
LOVE THIS!!! ~ Free :)(: :)(:
 
AliceForeverThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
May 27, 2012 at 11:11 pm
Aww! Thanks Free!
 
Free.Flying.Fallen.This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 15, 2012 at 9:29 am

You are so very welcome Alice!!! *huggles!* :D

 

~Free :)(:

 
readaholicThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 18, 2012 at 2:54 pm
Help me I'm bored in english class aaaa hobos
 
readaholicThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 19, 2012 at 7:23 am
ok i actually read it this time. good job but still hobos
 
PussnBoots said...
Sept. 30, 2011 at 8:59 am
Awesomeness. :) You really rocked it, Alice. Give yourself a pat on the back. (Oh, and BTW, I'm wondering about that description of yourself on your profile... wonder where you got that from. :) )
 
AliceForeverThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Sept. 30, 2011 at 1:17 pm
Shut up, I know where you live. XD
 
MyConstRuctd_IdentiTy said...
Sept. 20, 2011 at 6:31 pm

D**m. That. Was. Amazing. O.o Whoa. Dude, I couldn't write something like this if you paid me to. I couldn't write to save my life. O.O Wow. 5 out of 5 hands down.

 

The only thing, I agree with another post, the 'in the ground, six feet under' is a bit of a mouthful. But whether you change it or leave like it is, it all flows very easily and smoothly. Great. Fantastic. Brilliant.

 
AliceForeverThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Sept. 28, 2011 at 4:29 pm
Oh come on Identity, you know as well as I that you write some pretty great stuff. I agree with you and the other post, I had to make it rhyme and didn't think to put it like that. I'm a freak when it comes to my poetry rhyming. It needs to be perfect. Almost like Kid, just not as crazy... XD Just kidding, he rocks. Thanks for the advice!
 
MyConstRuctd_IdentiTy replied...
Sept. 29, 2011 at 7:34 pm

Pssshhhhhhawwwww, not like this, I don't. O.o XP

 

Hey, no prob. :) Just let me know if you ever want anything rated, commented on, whatever, I'll do it. Glad to. :)

 
AliceForeverThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Sept. 30, 2011 at 5:08 pm
Done deal. :)
 
AngelForeverBleedingLove This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 11, 2011 at 12:13 pm

This is really amazing! I love it! The rhyming not every line, but every other one works really good with it and makes it flow better and kind of fall off the tonuge gracefully. Great job! 5/5

Feel free to rate/comment on any of my works!

-Angel

 
Ebony_Rose said...
May 11, 2011 at 10:16 am
I think its great....
 
Ebony_Rose replied...
May 11, 2011 at 10:16 am
oops... forgot my smiley :D
 
Destinee This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 9, 2011 at 10:26 pm
This is so good! But I think one line: "In the ground, six feet under" has too many syllables. Maybe you could make it "grounded, six feet under"?
 
SpringRayynThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 9, 2011 at 8:44 pm
I really think that your use of repeating is really good and I like the rhyming too. I can't rhyme as good as that! Nice!
 
Osvaldo_CThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
May 9, 2011 at 8:58 pm
I agree. The rhymeing and repeating makes it good. Nice job!
 
Violetrose said...
Feb. 28, 2011 at 9:59 am
i love it!
 
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