Just me Talking

His actions say it is a one sided conversation
My hopes make me think not
Make me dream he’s talking back
But that other girl
Makes it seem again
Me talking to thin air
To darkness
To my own eager ears
And those words my heart hears
Are only echoes
Every second together
Is a racing heart
A piece of my dreams
Descended, half-remembered
Every second apart is truly freedom
But seems poignant tragedy
And fear
And every second they’re together
Is pain
Dull pain
Look-away-and-pretend pain
Pretend you don’t notice or care
Pretend that the stabbing music is the backdrop
Of your play
And not the star
But my hopes
And even my eyes
Say she embarrasses him
And I see the hurt on her
Plainly
That he isn’t talking back
Or the words are false
And should I hope for words
That will never bear meaning?
Should I try to steal what only the desperate need?
Or should I let the music slide out my ears
And wait for him to start the conversation
To be as sweet as tea
And cordial
To him
And let him speak on his own terms
And let her do the forcing and the stealth of words
And let me talk back only when the words are true.