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Underwater White Sun

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She whispers in my ear,
For me to make her feel like a woman.
But I can't if I'm still a tortured boy.
She's my mysterious mermaid,
Pulling me under.
Under this water,
I lose her, I lose you, to another desperate, little fish.
But I'm gonna find you,
I'm going to find my peace.
This aquatic forest has me in awe.
The wolves, the quietness, the stars.
My queen, my paradise, my chaos,
Come float to me.
I'm lost in your magic,
I'm lost in your cerulean eyes.

There's a sort of peace as these creatures tear me apart.
I'm done searching the crevices of this white, underwater sun.
The peace I could not find in you,
I find in the end of you,
I find in the end of me.
My queen, my paradise, my chaos,
Come float to me.
Tell me it's okay,
Tell me to breathe in the water.

I want to make you feel like a woman,
I want to deserve you, I want to deserve your perfection,
Cracking quite visibly.
I look above the water,
And there you are, walking away again.
Soaking wet in this chilly air,
I'm on my hands and knees begging you to stay,
For maybe just one more night.
This is pathetic.
I don't care, I need you with me,
I need you in my life in these trying times.

With red, beating eyes you look at me,
And I wish I could just look away.
But God knows I can't, he knows I only want this.
You say you need to think,
Think of ways out, no doubt.
But love, there is no escape.

I am your king, your pain, your paradise, and your chaos.
And I want to make you feel like a woman,
But I'm so tired, I'm so damn tired.
Tortured, we are dying star-crossed,
We are planet-crossed.
My stomach pains me right now,
I can't stop thinking of you in another person's arms.
Again.
I won't sleep tonight,
I haven't in a month.
Because from the water you ran to the forest.
Like a fool, I chased you in barefoot.
Past the living trees and the giant bugs,
Through the owl's homes and over Alice's rabbit hole.
There's a storm coming, I can't go farther.

The next night, I am sent a note written in mud,
"I need you".
Well, this has made me smile.
I just want your comfort,
I want your smile as my own,
We need to be as one.
We need to be together.
I want to make you feel perfect,
I want to deserve you,
Can't you see you need to be what I can't?
I know I've always said I'm happy if you are,
But what if you're most happy without me?
Does that make me a liar?

That night, we lay together.
You whisper things in my ear that means shit tomorrow.
Don't moan my name, I don't want a name ever again.
I want a memory, a place in your flighty heart.
My queen, my paradise, my chaos.
I can't live without my self destructive girl,
A down-spiral for us both.
God, you're adorable.
You shiver at the cold tears upon your warm skin,
I'm sorry I'm so weak.
It's just I know you'll be gone the next day again.
You'll be gone and I'll waste away,
Waiting for you to return.
But one day, you'll see,
One day it'll be too late.

While the sun is lighting up an abyss in the sea,
The moon still sits on its throne at dawn.
Just as I expected, coldness snuck into my bed while we slept,
And whisked you, whisked you away...
It's cold again, that feeling is back.
That feeling of desertion.

This time I feel you won't be back,
This time I'll truly waste away.
I walk the deserted streets,
Everyone has left me, too.
But still, no one dies alone,
Not if you care enough to personify loneliness.

I dive into my last hope,
Salt burns my eyes.
I don't need to search,
I know you're by the sun.
And there, I grab hold of you.
You smile into my neck,
"Hey, I was just coming to get you."
I won't even get into that...
I'm never letting you go again.
As this white, underwater sun takes us away,
I will never let you go.
As hope fills our lungs,
I will never let you go.
As we reach the eternal,
I will never let you go.
I will never let you go.



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