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It was all for nothing
You never took me seriously.
All the time from the beginning you sat there looked at me in my eyes and told me “Yea I do love you”
But when I asked you if you were in love with me you would remain silent and after really thinking about it you would say “Yea” and give me a cute fake smile.
You would never say the complete words, what I really wanted to hear “Yea, I am in love with you”
It was always a “Yea”
And when you told me that I felt so happy and I never noticed the way you said it.
I was blind and only saw you loving me. A different way than from what I wanted.
I ran around like a little girl showing of their new Barbie doll with their dream house and her car.
Excited and impatient to tell others. To show off to others what I had and what they didn’t.
I just wanted you to really love me.
I wanted it to be like in those love movies you know were the two people fall in love and their love is just so pure and the way they desire one another it’s so magical.
I want that kind of love.
But it was never like that.
I was trying to show you that I was a good girlfriend. That I was better than your other girlfriends.
I was mesmerized by your fake love.
And while I was trying my hardest to make you happy to give you all the stars in the sky you were doing things behind my back.
You were talking to other girls. And I don’t mean verbally talking I mean talking more so with your tongue and hands.
You were never man enough to tell me in my face. I had to find out by other mouths.
You made me look dumb.
Almost like me trying to eat a soup with a fork, that’s pretty dumb.
I was trying to make you happy I was trying my hardest to be good to you and make you really love me and at the end it turns out I tried for nothing.
It was like me digging a hole working hard for it knowing I was going to find gold at the bottom of the hole and at the end not finding anything.
You took everything I did for you and you threw it right back at my face.
After that I never thought I was going to find anyone else that will love me.
I thought I was not good enough for anyone.
I met someone that went through what I went through. And they felt the same way I did and thought the same way I did.
I talked to her and turns out she’s doing fine now. She found someone that does love her that treats her right that does the impossible for her.
I saw how happy she was and at that moment I realized that it was not the end of the world for me.
I was in a hurry to find love.
Like someone told me “Don’t look for love, let love come to you”
And ever since that day I’m not in a hurry to find love.
I know that when the time is right that one person will come and will treat me right, and wont hurt me, and we will be happy with each other, no matter what