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Why I Didn't Want to Listen

By , New Orleans, LA
Stop.
Breathe.
Listen.
I am hearing your words,
But they don’t seem to make sense in my head.
What are you saying?
Are these actual words forming sentences?
Or are you just babbling?
Wait, I know you.
You never really jumbled your words like myself,
So you are probably articulating very well.
But hold up,
Why can’t I understand you?
Is it because I am too distracted by the beautifulness about you?
Is it because this speech is so random and out of the blue that I’m still trying to fathom it?
Or is it because what you are saying just doesn’t make sense?
No.
It’s because I don’t want to listen.
It’s because I know the words are going to hurt.
Whenever someone utters: ‘We need to talk’
You know something bad is to come.
I don’t want to hear the horrible thoughts in your head.
I don’t want to hear what I did wrong.
I don’t want to know why I wasn’t good enough.
And I don’t want you to be the one to hurt me.
No.
Not you.
Anyone but you.
Please.
I’m begging.
You were the one that made my day shine bright.
You were the one I would dream about in the middle of the night.
You were the one I always wanted in my sight.
But now I see I was wrong.
Now I see what you truly thought.
Now I see what was really going through your head.
Now I know all of those great things have this one word:
Were.
You were the greatest thing in my life.
But now, you have left me.
Alone.
Heartbroken.
Silent.
I don’t have words.
Just tears dripping down my face.
Did you think about what this would do to me?
You knew how much pain I had in my life,
And this just made it unbearable.
You have just caused my heart to break into a million pieces.
And this time,
I don’t know if I’ll be able to pick them up.
You were the one who helped me put the pieces back together.
But once again,
Were.
So I hope you got what you wanted,
But I hope you know what you caused:
Pain.
Sadness.
Suffering.
Loss.
Depression.
Hurt.
So we can move on and try to be friends.
Pretend like everything is okay.
I’m just glad you now know,
Why I didn’t want to listen.





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acc13a said...
Jan. 7, 2011 at 6:47 pm
i found that this really connects with me on a personal level. beautiful writing.
 
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