i once knew you

December 8, 2010
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Walking through the dark
There’s not light to be found
As I wound a narrow corner
There is just a little flicker
Just a little glimpse of something bright
Something that carries light
And it’s just around the next corner
Just up a head
Hesitantly I move forward
Walking slowly toward you.
As a turn the corner I see you
And I turn and run
Scared to walk any closer
I stop at the end of the road
Stop and watch you
Getting close and moving away
Finely I let it go
Walking the other way
That was a year ago
Now I see the same light
Feel the same familiar feeling
And again I get scared
But this time she won’t let me hide
She won’t let me run
She pulls me to you
You touch me I fall into your arms
Reluctantly I move closer
Scared and hiding I become yours
You keep me safe worm
And so very loved
And I can see
You are still the same light
That I saw before
In the hall way a year ago
That I ran from.
Time passes and your light starts to fade
Starts to run out
Then it’s just black again
All I see is black
And I no longer feel safe
No longer feel loved
Or even wanted by anyone
Not knowing with to do
With the pain I feel
Or the newly open wound
I’m mean and hateful to you
My words like daggers flying from my mouth,
Stabbing deep.
Time passes
I still throw a dagger when I get the chance to
Then it happens I turn the corner
In moving on
There you sit not letting me
Just the light you hold
It calls to me
And your eye capture me one more time
And all over again I’m in love with you
You’re the light again
Wanting to be yours again
Willing to do anything
Enjoying every little moment
Everything little thing you say
Or do to me
Or with me
There’s just one little thing
That won’t go away
And that’s the pain of knowing
That I will never be yours again
I’m willing to change
I’m willing to stay here
But you change that subject
When I talk about it
And it hurts
Just takes the dagger
In my chest and twists it.
I’m opening up
I’m trying
And learning that
It doesn’t seem to matter
There is one thing that needs to happen
I need to let you go
I need to move on
But I can’t

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