Some people change the way that you think, they help you understand, like a missing link. For me it was my bestfriend that helped pull me through, she was my decision maker when I didn't know what to do. It started in 7th grade when I self harmed as a way to cope, I was careless and unfulfilled with hope. My parents would fight and I couldn't think straight, like a blank expression I was filled with self hate. I tried to hide it but couldn't handle the pain, I was addicted to playing a self harm game. I couldn't handle it and didn't know who to tell, but facing it alone would resemble logic hell. I told my friends, the ones that I could trust, they tried convincing me that telling was a must. I didn't want my parents or anyone else to know, but it was hard to cover up and my depression would show. I trusted one person more than the rest, her name was Bri and she was the best. I told her when it happened and when I was zanic, she helped calm me down when I would start to panic. Months went by and I got worse, Like a screwed up movie but I didn't rehearse. I didn't have an extra life to start again if I died, but I couldn't do that to her after all that she tried. I'd tell her not to tell and to leave it alone, I still remember vividly of her crying on the phone. I remember the day that everyone found out, I hated her for a split second and she filled me with doubt. I wanted to know why she told my mom and dad, but deep down I had no right to actually be mad. One person who I thought that I could never forgive is the same person that taught me how to live. I actually can't even thank her enough, she's a hell of a person and emotionally tough.
Hitting ground zero with you
November 30, 2010