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i am the teddy

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Nothing sooths the pain of a broken heart
better than laying alone in the dark
hearing nothing but the broken beat and the unsteady breathing
and letting the pain go while it is seething
no self mutilation to dull the pain and no drugs to make you go numb
and you wonder why you ever let yourself get so dumb
you knew she didn't love you but you loved her anyways
and all it brought you is sad dark and lonely days
then along came a girl to your sad and dark world
and when she came along you feelings again unfurled
she was like the rising sun on night so dark with no stars
that nothing was evident other then the purple and puckered scars
but she came along with happiness and shining rays of beauty
and she saw all the things that you kept locked like a duty
you let her in thinking it couldn't end the same way as the last one
but as soon as she got to the hidden pain there was too much and she was done
so you let yourself get hurt again by the same thing that you were trying to avoid
and with your heart and mind another woman has toyed
but you say its alright and that it doesn't hurt anymore
but on the inside your mind and heart are so sore
you cant take it you just wanna die
but know that if you end it your family and friends would forever cry
so you sit and think about how sweet the end sounds
and try to get your feet back on the ground
you cant take the heat so you stay away from emotion
but inside your heart and mind are always busy like the ocean
you never stop searching for the proverbial one that everyone tells you is there
but you cannot find her perhaps she is the one with the flaxen hair
no it couldn't be she is so far beyond you and your reach
but you still remember that day on the cold beach
you gave her your jacket and froze in the wind so she could be warm and cozy
but she was mad for you turned from white to rosy
and ever since you have admired the beauty within and without
that she brings to your life like a never ending spout
but you wont reach for her for you are afraid of her betrayal as all the others
so you sit and admire her more than any child could be by their own mother
she doesn't see you the way you see her but that is alright for you still get to be
her teddy bear for anytime that she needs you to help her see



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