Breaking Point

November 26, 2010
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I can't do this anymore.
I can't pretend, I was never the best actress.
My smile is fading and my eyes filling with tears.
You were my everything.
A sun I revolved around, and now I'm aching for your light.
It's so cold now.
My world is gray when it was once so bright,
with hope for the future.

Was this necessary?
Not only to destroy the tie between us, but to break me in the process?
I'm not so sure all can be fixed,
you hold the missing pieces.
I gave them to you willingly;
Can you ever give them back?
Can you ever return what you've taken from me?
Can I ever love a second time?

I want so badly to hate you,
to curse your name, send you glares, or feel
only anger at the thought of you.
But I can't,
I...miss you.
And it hurts.
I gave myself in its entirety.
I trusted you.
And where did that leave me?

Shuddering in the dark with sobs,
while you play house with her.
For some reason I feel sorry
for not being good enough.
It's so twisted the way you make me think,
the way you play my mind against itself.
How can you whisper 'I love you' one moment
and reject me the next?
What did I do wrong?
Why can't you love me,
chose me?
Why do I have to be alone?

I'll just stare at my feet and shuffle along,
as to not catch an accidental glimpse of you
happy with someone else.
May if I try enough, I can be...
happy too.

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