The Autopsy of an Apple Fallen

October 28, 2010
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Behold! The freshest and ripest apple,
Shining in its brilliant red hue,
Standing like the cross atop a snowy chapel,
But plotting its dreadful coup.

As that fine golden stem severs connection,
It marks an epoch in an everlasting glass,
We begin a tedious dissection,
When bruised by salient strips of grass.

The tree which gave it life,
Now casts an ominous shadow in its path,
Once bound as husband and wife,
A divorce of interests, and entailing wrath.

The final product of this villainous knave?
Oh how can this be weighed?
By megatons or seismic wave?
Neigh, it cuts the Earth as a sharpened spade.

The tranquil seas do conceal,
The potential of unrealized destruction,
A stupefied angler with fish and creel,
Spies the bluish visage of a world’s reduction.

In the quake of the rebellious apple,
All men become twisted in essence,
A leathery book I do grapple,
And seek the tunnel for luminescence.

Sure as the moon’s ascent by night,
But not quite as the Son’s by morn,
I relinquish this apple of all its might,
And find an evergreen without a thorn.

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debmalamud said...
Apr. 12, 2012 at 8:16 pm
i really like this.
thetruthawaits94 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 5, 2011 at 8:08 pm

Ummm, no offense to Eirias, but i don't agree with her/his changes. They don't make much sense really...

I LOVE this poem!!! I love the meaning. I love the Lord, Jesus Christ! i imagine you watching this happening in the poem like i am sitting right there next to you. This is the poem i picked to favorite of yours!

Eirias said...
Aug. 3, 2011 at 10:18 am

From the top: I like the title, the way apple comes before fallen.

I'd take out "its" in line 2.

I'd change "but" to "yet." Yet has a softer sound, as opposed to the harder B. Unless "coup" isn't pronounced like I thought it was, it is the only line that doesn't rhyme. I'd also change "its" to "a."

Stanza 2: I'd take out "an" in line 2. I'd change "a" to "with," and take out the "when"

Stanza 3: Maybe "which once gave life"? I'd end line 2 with a period. I'd add "a... (more »)

ritabelle511This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 28, 2011 at 6:00 pm
This is fantastic. It's one of my favorites of your poems, in fact! This poem is loaded with imagery and hidden meanings - I really like how you capitalized "Son" in the second to last line. :)  
NinjaGirl This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 18, 2011 at 5:32 pm
Wow. This is wonderful! So much depth! I love your word choice and the rhyme scheme in this piece. I'm glad you find inspiration in your faith; I do too, sometimes. :) Keep it up. You, my friend, have real talent!
Bill M. replied...
Jun. 19, 2011 at 4:23 pm
Thank you very much.
ALM007 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 5, 2012 at 8:29 pm
The only thing I love more than the poem is your comment and dedication.
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