Your Loss

October 28, 2010
By Anonymous

My heart longs for you
I am angry towards you
You make me feel like I am nothing to you
What you did to me when I was young hurts
There is no way I can forgive you
The misery I have gone through the last few years makes me ill

I can’t take the pain anymore
You have done enough damage
You call the women you once loved every once in a while
You ask to talk to me
If you have not noticed it is to late now
I am too old now to be won over by your lies

Yes, I miss you greatly
But no, I don’t want anything to do with you
Sometimes I wish I didn’t even know you
And other times I wish I still had you
I still call you my dad
That doesn’t mean I don’t hate what you did

Sometimes I think what my life would be like with you
Then I remember you want nothing to do with me
Some days I wish you would show up at my doorstep
Others I want you no more
A girl can only wish so much
I know that would never happen
No matter how much I tried

I try to make myself believe I can forget you
If only once I could do so
But every time I think I can let you go
I think about when you visited me years ago

Yes, I am sure you say you love me
Words only mean so much
A girl can only love so much
A father that she can’t trust

This past year has been the worst out of all
Now I am finally realizing I won’t have you at all
Dad I love you but time is running out
You need to get your life straight
I won’t wait much longer

The author's comments:
This piece is about my hardship with my dad.

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