Found Phoenix

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Trees enclose around me.
I'm so lost.
Without your loving direction,
And lightning fingertips,
to illuminate my path.
Save me from my *desert places.
The ones I have in me,
so much nearer home.

I feel naked,
completely exposed
to fierce blows,
all in darkness.
Yellow eyes
making skin crawl.
Crawling skin,
caused by itching eyes.

I let you slip between
the cracks in my thoughts.
The lucid remembrances,
from which you fled.
If only your air could leave me.
The very breath you breathed into
my lungs;
It's still there.

Your spirit imprisoned me,
When I thought you could set me free.
Now your presence paralyzes me.
Creating such a numbness,
I've spent the whole of my life fighting off.

When I hear my name being called;
My heart stops beating.
Then I realize it's not you,
And it reluctantly beats once more.
A sluggish, redundant arrhythmia.

I've forgotten how to dream.
It's fled my mind, how to feel.
But I remember how to hate.
You have refreshed my memory so.
How I can taste the very blood,
that still runs in your veins.
Saturated copper.

Now red is all I see.
Blurred by the tears,
shed from throbbing pain.
But I'll be back one day.
For now I chisel away at this
ill- weather induced shelter.
The hard coating
of a once tender soul.

I will chisel out for myself,
from this hard block,
A work of art.
However ugly and obtuse I seem now,
one day I will be beautiful.
Reborn a new creation.

Once the stone dust has been blown,
and the sharp edges have been smoothed,
and my face has been polished.
Like the proverbial phoenix,
as always after each adamant fall;
I will rise again.





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