A Soldier's Struggle

October 11, 2010
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Now down in the dirt, he’s thinking it over
Mind full of questions, sporadic in thought
“Is that blood all mine, or from one of my comrades?
How is my family back home?
The corpse lying beside me,
His body mangled
But his expression relieved,
Did I know him?
Does Nicole know what I’m doing?’
He sits there and ponders

Covered in mud, uniform tattered
Hiding from the supposed enemy,
Someone he’s never even met
He can not fathom the idea
of destroying a stranger
Killing another man,
who may have a newborn
just like himself
But he came with his head held high
Gun by his side
And a picture of his wife and child
In his back pocket
“Why am I here?”
He sits there and ponders

As some soldiers try to revive him
Shouting some nonsense about going into shock
He can feel himself slipping
Into some unknown dark place
It seems like a haven
Compared to this hell
Silence blankets his harsh surroundings
Purgatory has its benefits
He lays there and ponders

As he rummages through the inner workings of his mind
He recalls why he came to this horrific place
Why he tossed his own beliefs and morals aside
A thought he has repeated so many times
Now seems to have less conviction
He is there for his family
To give them pride and glory
For their future
But it is a future
He may never see

Does this give them glory?
Will his son be proud of the war hero father
He will never meet?
Maybe never love?
He lies there and ponders

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