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What I Want to Say

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This ambition,
It precedes my inner mission;
Yarn woven through my mind
Appears to tangle in my vision.
You knit a quilt of love for me,
Yet your eyes are on him.
Even when shadows are short,
My perception is dim, unlike the sun.
A haze of absent emotion
And I am tempted to run,
But I am indifferent.
My condition is irrelevant.
Pale faces cower in the strife
To become reverent.
In the presence of another, the other,
I long for life to never end.
My life will... never end.
From Heaven above only rain will descend.
Few dare to dive in this
Deep puddle of shallow men.
The choice is tangent;
A child's game is to pretend.
My lungs gasp for air,
The air that isn't there.
Breaking the surface reveals
The mud in my hair, mud not to be shared.
As you wallow in the mud,
Your feet begin to sink.
The seconds of life are waning
But I'll give you a few seconds to think.
We're all drawn back into the rhythm of the rhyme.
Beware of the schism that causes tension
In the System, the system of my mind.
Knots of my yarn begin to unwind
Into a kind of new hope to find my joy.
Is that a crime against the queen?
Yes, treason; but my reason is that
I have already served my time.
Believe I could never leave you behind
And in the end, you are
Disappointed.





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