A Treaty

October 5, 2010
I hate myself
For missing you
For wanting you
For remembering you.

For remembering us,
And how perfect we were,
How happy we were.
How strong we were.

And yet we crumbled,
Under some unseen pressure
We're nothing more than dust,
Particles of love too small
To put back together.

I miss the way you looked at me,
Smiled at me
Held me
Kissed me.

I want to close
The vast and useless space
Looming between us.
To remind you of how it was
And how it should be.

You used to be clear
About what you felt for me.
And it was easy to let you know
That I felt the exact same way
If more intensely.

Now you look at me as if I'm a rock
And not even a useful one
You would consider sitting on.
A rock that you'd kick
Or throw at someone you don't like.

Though I'm sure you don't spend
That much time
Thinking about me in any way.
You don't return my texts.
Or tentative smiles.

So I'm giving up.
Consider this a treaty

Not for peace
Because I'll never have peace of mind
Without knowing why you're gone.

Not for forgiveness
Because I don't forgive you
And I can't apologize for what I didn't do.

Not to consent to your opinions,
Because I don't understand why you treat me this way.
I don't understand how you feel.
So I can't agree.

So this treaty of sorts
Doesn't accomplish much.
It is only meant
To let you know
That I wish I knew what
I was trying to mend
And count you as an ally
Once again.

Join the Discussion

This article has 9 comments. Post your own now!

alex198 said...
Jun. 26, 2011 at 9:44 am
I really like this :) It was so sad and really heartfelt. I also loved the repitition you used at the end of several of the lines. I thought it worked really well. I loved it! :D
Mariam.J said...
Jun. 26, 2011 at 3:44 am

I know this poem is probably old, but I saw you mention it one of your posts so, thought I'd give it a shot  ( :

I love the 'discontinued flow' of the poem and I <3 <3 the last stanza .

Very sharp tone, yet subtle ( :

Mind looking up my work ? Born Again - Mariam.J


GangstaEyes This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 26, 2011 at 8:57 am
Thanks so much! I love getting feedback on my poems new or old :P Sure, I'll look you up! Thanks again.
genesis27000 said...
Oct. 20, 2010 at 11:16 pm
Darrrrnnn! What can I say? This has left me speechless.. Not a big surprise there. You are amazing with words. Thanks for being my bestieee♥ Miss you like MAD! :))
GangstaEyes This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 21, 2010 at 3:33 pm
Awh thank you so much Geni :) I love ya forever and you're my bestest friend in the galaxy :)))
genesis27000 replied...
Oct. 25, 2010 at 7:05 pm


Hurry up and get your telefono already!

ellyn-bo-bellyn said...
Oct. 18, 2010 at 12:00 pm

Grrr! can you write anything NOT amazing? I love this one!!!! Maybe the best????? It's great!!!!! :> 


alanacarlene said...
Oct. 16, 2010 at 7:50 pm
This is really good and I think it's well written. I read on the thread thing where you posted this too that Ellen I think laughed at the rock stanza! I liked it lol it was really good and that's how a LOT of girls feel at least once iin there life! Great flow and i don't think i've told you this but you have really good vocabulary! lol :D
GangstaEyes This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 16, 2010 at 8:23 pm
Thanks Alana. Lol, yeah she laughed pretty hard. Agreed - but some girls experience this feeling more than others. :/ Thank ya! What can I say, I LOVE words :P
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