What am I supposed to do when I tell you "I love you" 
And then the next day your telling me "I'll be home soon"
And I watch you get on that plane
A couple months later your back because of and injury
What do you want me to do when you say "I'm going back"
The night before you leave I stay up crying and praying for you to stay
The next morning as you kiss me goodbye
I can't look you in the eye for the fear of crying
I don't speak to you for the fear of begging and pleading
I silently watch you get on that plane again

Hoping to see you again . . .

Six weeks later a person rings our doorbell
His face is sincere yet emotionless 
He looks at me and hands me a folded American flag 
And says

. . .

"I'm sorry for your lost"
The tears flow freely as I drop to my knees
As I try to picture life without you
Memories of you . . . Of "us" flash through my head 
And they slowly disappear just like my mind
A week later your shipped home to be buried
The day of your furenal I see your mom looking at me with teary eyes
As I walk up to your coffin i say to myself
"I wish it was me and not you"

Once they put you in the ground and everyone has left
I go back to our house and cry myself to sleep holding myself
Since you can't hold me

. . .
  
when I need you the most