Salty Grave

August 4, 2010
By alanacarlene DIAMOND, Mexia, Texas
alanacarlene DIAMOND, Mexia, Texas
55 articles 15 photos 592 comments

Favorite Quote:
Silence screams too honestly and loudly.
-Alex (aka GangstaEyes)
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two equals four.
-Winston Smith '1984'
Don't go wishin' your life away...
-Daddy S2
"What a drag it was to be limited by reality."


Fire.
Burning inside me.
Deep fire.
Cold fire.
Watery fire.
Lungs burning.
Can't breathe.
Reaching out,
and
feeling...
nothingness.
Panic.
Lungs sigh of relief.
Bubbles making their way
up...
to where I should go...
but can't.
Instead,
I make my way
down down...
Salty tears
mixing
with salty ocean
mixing
with my
salty grave.


The author's comments:
Drowning in saddness and tears and helplessness.

Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 12 comments.


on Oct. 3 2010 at 5:45 pm
alanacarlene DIAMOND, Mexia, Texas
55 articles 15 photos 592 comments

Favorite Quote:
Silence screams too honestly and loudly.
-Alex (aka GangstaEyes)
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two equals four.
-Winston Smith '1984'
Don't go wishin' your life away...
-Daddy S2
"What a drag it was to be limited by reality."

Awwww!!! OMG! You like so totally made my day :))))) now i'm all smiley! I'm sooo glad you liked it Ellyn! Thank you super super much! :DDD

on Oct. 3 2010 at 12:22 pm
ellyncannon PLATINUM, Mexia, Texas
29 articles 0 photos 204 comments

Favorite Quote:
That which we persist in doing becomes easier, not that the task itself has become easier, but that our ability to perform it has improved.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
<3

ok. this is- i cant get over how flawlessly you've portrayed this emotion. it's beautifually tragic. Really great work! :)

on Oct. 1 2010 at 4:09 pm
alanacarlene DIAMOND, Mexia, Texas
55 articles 15 photos 592 comments

Favorite Quote:
Silence screams too honestly and loudly.
-Alex (aka GangstaEyes)
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two equals four.
-Winston Smith '1984'
Don't go wishin' your life away...
-Daddy S2
"What a drag it was to be limited by reality."

Awww! :) Thanks! I'm super happy you like it and that means a LOT to me! :D

on Sep. 30 2010 at 8:46 pm
Alcanno DIAMOND, Mexia, Texas
59 articles 0 photos 670 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you love life, don't waste time, for time is what life is
made up of."

-- Bruce Lee

I love this. It is written SO well and the flow and word choice are perfect. And the quote makes it easy for me to relate to the whole thing. Great work :)

on Sep. 21 2010 at 10:03 pm
alanacarlene DIAMOND, Mexia, Texas
55 articles 15 photos 592 comments

Favorite Quote:
Silence screams too honestly and loudly.
-Alex (aka GangstaEyes)
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two equals four.
-Winston Smith '1984'
Don't go wishin' your life away...
-Daddy S2
"What a drag it was to be limited by reality."

Thank you so so much! That means a lot to me :)

on Sep. 20 2010 at 5:49 pm
CiCiJoLee BRONZE, Moorestown, New Jersey
2 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
confucius mixes logic with poetic phrases. His quotes are like poem<3

this poem is really pretty..the idea is sad but its written so elegantly:)) i especially like the ending "salty tears-mixing-with salty ocean-mixing-with my-salty grave" really great:)

on Aug. 30 2010 at 4:16 pm
alanacarlene DIAMOND, Mexia, Texas
55 articles 15 photos 592 comments

Favorite Quote:
Silence screams too honestly and loudly.
-Alex (aka GangstaEyes)
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two equals four.
-Winston Smith '1984'
Don't go wishin' your life away...
-Daddy S2
"What a drag it was to be limited by reality."

Ok I will and thank you! And feel free to check out some more of my work if ya haven't!

Kaptain SILVER said...
on Aug. 30 2010 at 12:19 pm
Kaptain SILVER, Dubai, Other
7 articles 0 photos 20 comments

good work!

 

Do go through mine if u have the time.. dont forget to rate and comment :)


on Aug. 29 2010 at 4:55 pm
alanacarlene DIAMOND, Mexia, Texas
55 articles 15 photos 592 comments

Favorite Quote:
Silence screams too honestly and loudly.
-Alex (aka GangstaEyes)
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two equals four.
-Winston Smith '1984'
Don't go wishin' your life away...
-Daddy S2
"What a drag it was to be limited by reality."

Haha! 'Eep' is what i say when i get excited sometimes i dont know how i started saying that though! hahahaha

on Aug. 29 2010 at 4:30 pm
Thesilentraven PLATINUM, Mableton, Georgia
40 articles 2 photos 1634 comments

Favorite Quote:
"il piu nell' uno," (according to Emerson, an Italian expression for beauty)

"Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality" ~Emily Dickinson

"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain"
~Kahlil Gibran

I'd love if you commented on my work! I am unsure of the word 'eep' though.

on Aug. 29 2010 at 4:23 pm
alanacarlene DIAMOND, Mexia, Texas
55 articles 15 photos 592 comments

Favorite Quote:
Silence screams too honestly and loudly.
-Alex (aka GangstaEyes)
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two equals four.
-Winston Smith '1984'
Don't go wishin' your life away...
-Daddy S2
"What a drag it was to be limited by reality."

Eep! Thank you so much! I'm glad you like it! :) :D I'll check out some of your work!

on Aug. 29 2010 at 2:14 pm
Thesilentraven PLATINUM, Mableton, Georgia
40 articles 2 photos 1634 comments

Favorite Quote:
"il piu nell' uno," (according to Emerson, an Italian expression for beauty)

"Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality" ~Emily Dickinson

"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain"
~Kahlil Gibran

A very well written poem. It illustrates very well the desperate feeling of 'drowning.' It makes a great metaphor, and I LOVE the title. Great job.


SciArc

MacMillan Books

Aspiring Writer? Take Our Online Course!