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She ruled the land

By , River Falls, WI
She ruled the land
She ruled the Pawns and Bishops
The Knights, Rooks, and the King
She took pride in what she had accomplished.
But not what she had done.
She has learned her lesson now
Now that she had seen the outcome
But the people want to teach it to her again
Don’t mess with the balance of things?
Because if the scales tip?
You will fall

She fell
And didn’t get back up
She fell for the last time
Don’t let it suck you in
Don’t let yourself think that it’s ok
Because


Its not.





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This article has 11 comments. Post your own now!

SilverMoon said...
Aug. 29, 2010 at 10:09 am
Thank you!!! ^^ Really what inspired me was defiantly a chess board. I had an image of a chess board in my mind when I was writing this and when I was writing it I really didn't know where I was going on this. Thanks for all the great comments ^^ The last line was the best ending I could think of and I almost kept writing onto it because I thought that I couldn't end it! So I came up with this ending so it wouldn't be supper long. :P
 
The_Squirrel said...
Aug. 27, 2010 at 6:40 pm
you know what? i luv it. the whole time i was picturing a chess board then the last phrase totally tied it together. I like the meaning and i think it was greatly written.
 
book-keeper26 said...
Aug. 27, 2010 at 12:45 pm
nice idea, but i don't think you totally executed it properly.
 
DiamondsIntheGrass This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 26, 2010 at 9:45 am
i dont think i quite got the concept, but i love the abrupt ending. could you take a look at some of my poems? thanks.  :)
 
Phantom_Girl This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 26, 2010 at 8:21 am
I love how most of the poem was a wonderful, complex metaphor, but it ended with a simple "Its not." It was a great poem all around, very well written.
 
thewriteidea This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 25, 2010 at 7:53 pm

i like the abrupt ending! it was unexpected and it really hit me in a powerful way! you have a very nice flow and i enjoyed reading this very much!

check out some of my work, too if you'd like. great job on this. keep writing!!(:

 
timevampire This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 25, 2010 at 1:37 pm
I really like your work...
 
mimirocks124 said...
Aug. 25, 2010 at 11:14 am
can totally relate. interesting concept
 
thebushhippie said...
Aug. 25, 2010 at 10:33 am
what inspired you to write this? loved that last section, especially when you said "Because it's not." great job!
 
annkaykay2011 said...
Aug. 24, 2010 at 3:32 pm
This is a powerful work. Good job!
 
chrisbriones said...
Aug. 24, 2010 at 2:53 pm

Will you share with me what inspired you to make this? Who perhaps?

I like the power of the last line. It's direct and powerful.

 
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