One in the A.M.

July 20, 2010
By , Wheat Ridge, CO
one in the am
i need to write. i dont know about what, but i need to. so here goes.

i hate having a boyfriend. when we break up dont ask me out. i wont say yes anymore.
i hate when i have things thrown in my face. i hate complete suprises.
i hate crying lying and dying. i hate being cheesey. i hate hipocrites, i hate myself. i hate indian givers and people looking for gifts. i hate messy rooms although thats where i find myself at ease, i hate eating unhealthy though rarely do i get my peas.

i like to rhym and write and talk
i like to color and sing and draw with chalk.
i like to run
though often dont
i'd like to scream
but i wont
i like honey
and the bee's who make it,
i like money
and the people who work for it.
god isn't my faith
i dont believe in him
but in truth,
it's not just the end.
i've been hurt and broken and torn.
to the point where i feel worn.
but i made and make mistakes
poisoness like from serpants or snakes.
i am not a good person,
nor am i a bad soul,
i am not easily won,
nor am i a troll.
but a mess
controlled cahos.
not a girl in a dress
but a girl at a loss.

this wasnt ment to be a poem. just a get to know me
but i guess since it was, i'll try to keep it going.
so here i am
sixteen and old
so here i am
sixeen and cold
but not all is bad
in this pretty little book of mine,
some rather sad.
but never a choking line.
when i fall
i take it to heart
but i start to crawl
and begin a new start.

life has not been easy
nor will it ever be.
but if it were,
where would we start to see?

your life, my life
his life, her life.
life shares a common theme
in most cases
so it would seem
and that is to find truth
in the things we do
to know that we are worth it,
the truth we come to know.

so i continue my search
in hopes that one day
i may find some earth.
and to you i bid fare well
into this unpredictable fate
and to you i give my love
so it may help you find the golden gate.

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