I want to stop
being kind and forgiving,
because in the end
that's what has gotten me beaten the most.

I want to stop
being loving and caring,
because in the end
that's what isolates me.

I want to stop
trying to understand your cold eyes and sweet smile,
because in the end
it's your hard fist I see most.

I want to stop
giving second chances and benefits of the doubt,
because in the end
that's what makes me and idiot.

I want to stop
being hopeful and trusting,
because in the end that's what keeps me awake at night staring at a window of broken promises.

I want to stop
leaving a trail of bread crumbs just so you can find me,
because in the end
that's the path you avoid.

I want to stop
believing that you meant that you'd save me and hold me,
because in the end that's when I suffer from
hypothermia without warm arms.

I want to stop
crying and falling,
because in the end
that's when I realize you're smiling.

I want to stop
being strong and brave,
because in the end we all know I am an infant.

I want to stop.
Stop.