Footprints | Teen Ink

Footprints

July 30, 2010
By writingchick GOLD, Huntington, Indiana
writingchick GOLD, Huntington, Indiana
11 articles 0 photos 127 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Faith is taking another step without seeing the entire staircase."


Wet, cool sand smoothly oozes between my toes as I slowly walk,
The sun is warm, beating down on my tan skin,
There is a gentle breeze softly pushing my long blonde hair aside,
I peer over to face the vast blue ocean,
I gaze into the open sea with fascination, yet with sorrow,
It sparkled as a fresh blanket of snow would,
I love the sound of the small waves rolling and crashing down upon the shore,
The beach is empty; abandoned, as is my heart,
I glance over my shoulder,
My footprints would appear, then were promptly engulfed by the water, tumbling upon the sand,
I saw only one pair of footprints instead of two,
It was difficult to grasp in my mind,
He was gone,
We used to walk on this beach peacefully; side by side with hands tenderly clasped together,
Now I walk alone,
My heart is heavy, filled with anguish and despair,
Teary-eyed I watch as my footprints appear, then vanish,
They were gone, as was he.


The author's comments:
This idea came to me in the middle of the night. I sprung up, jotted it down and the idea grew to this. Please rate and comment :)

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This article has 6 comments.


on Jul. 29 2011 at 4:34 pm
loveaysia BRONZE, Sydney, Other
4 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
Wanting To Be Someone Else Is A Waste Of The Person You Are.

I love your used the descriptive words!! :) I thought it was about how the beach and ocean were beautiful sights till I got to the end! <3 I loved it!

windsoftime said...
on Jul. 26 2011 at 4:33 pm
I really like this piece of writing! It starts out as if it was meant to be really happy and then it turns out to be quite sad at the end. I really like the way you refer to some of your feelings. You don't make it obvious either. Please can you look at another one of mine? I think it is called, "Don't Ask me ever again" thanks :)

on Jul. 20 2011 at 10:56 pm
writingchick GOLD, Huntington, Indiana
11 articles 0 photos 127 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Faith is taking another step without seeing the entire staircase."

Not good with all the punctuation stuff. That's why I need editors! Haha. And thank you for the advice and good comment (:

And yes, tennis is fantastic!


on Jul. 19 2011 at 4:32 pm
NinjaGirl BRONZE, Valley City, North Dakota
1 article 0 photos 202 comments

Favorite Quote:
The only thing holding us back in life is our desire to stay where we are and not venture further.
~Some random person on the Internet :P

This is full of sorrow and deep emotion! I love your descriptions and the way you portrayed the sadness of the speaker. The only criticism I have is that you should either punctuate sentences within the poem with periods or just not use any punctuation unless it's needed, such as to set off an apositive from the rest of the sentence/line. In other words, you don't need the commas on the ends of most of those lines. No biggie, though, just remember that for the future. Oh, and by the way, tennis is awesome! ;)

lovetoread said...
on Jul. 7 2011 at 8:43 pm
I felt like I was right there with you on this walk.  Great descriptions!!

on Aug. 21 2010 at 7:15 pm
Thesilentraven PLATINUM, Mableton, Georgia
40 articles 2 photos 1634 comments

Favorite Quote:
"il piu nell' uno," (according to Emerson, an Italian expression for beauty)

"Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality" ~Emily Dickinson

"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain"
~Kahlil Gibran

I love this poem! Reading the beginning, I imagined this was a simple (yet wonderful) description of the beach. I shortly learned that it was a creative metaphor for a sad loss. I can sense the passion and imspiration with which it was written. Well done.


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