Fear of Falling

July 16, 2010
I sit on the side,

A ghost in my own world,

Viewing my entire life.

Disappointed by what I see,

It’s the heart inside of me.

I am being played like a violin,

Watching myself fall in love again.

The tune, it’s memorized beautifully,

Ready for when it has to take a breath,

And resume in the next vitality.

It’s gone before I have a chance to say goodbye,

Leaving me with a tear in my eye.

And it returns before I’m fully awake,

Fully healed from the tragic break.

I am a flame in a puddle of water,

Feeling like a burdensome blanket that can’t get any softer.

I am a victim in a mental man’s slaughter,

Feeling lost, alone, and afraid.

Yes, this is my testimony,

I am afraid of love, afraid of getting hurt again.

So many times, now my heart, it’s so boney,

Breaking again, again, and again.

My wrists are popping,

My ankles, they’re breaking in two.

A fear I need to get rid of,

It needs to leave, to go out the window.

Here I am, sitting on the side once again,

Watching myself fall in love again.

Wanting to love, wanting to be a part of it all,

I stand, releasing the pain, the suffering,

And as I take a step forward,

I follow my heart, letting myself fall again.

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