Am I Disturbing You?

July 14, 2010
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I'll warn you that love is a word I use too often, and I'll say that I wish that it was out in the cold world
Instead of the yellow-toned wrinkled parchment of my empty head
I don't know anything about love
I pretend that I've seen passion and scarlet lips on my hands
Bowed in reverence, my lover
I'm such a filthy liar
It's sick and it's wrong and I like to see other people in love because that gives me hope.
I have never known love, I have never met destiny on the streetcorner
But I wait with bursting heart in my bedchambers,
Where is my Romeo?

But Romeo dies of poison and that poison is my mind
I'll curse you, I'll kill you, you'll die in the twisted
Frenzied madness that is everything I've ever known
If there were someone reading this with hands shredding a wet tissue,
I would probably run off and stab myself with the nearest kitchen knife
That's how it is in the faded, dusty corridors of this twisted personality

Can you bring me to life? No. Love's only object is
To burn every paper I've ever invested in
Every bound world I've visited
All the bridges that span my personal Venice
And leave me on a lonely island with my fading idol.

I'm a skeptic but I cry at sappy movies
God, I'm so sorry.
Don't waste your time on me, go find a nice young slut
To marry and have ten babies
Before you, my Romeo, find the soul that is me
And abandon life for an endless night of despair, doubt, and lust
I'm bound so tightly in ribbons of imagination that I'll never
Cease wandering these dank dungeon pathways of obsidian loathing
For the world, and you, and these strands of hair on my head that I wish to destroy before the golden strands
Make me a pinkfaced innocent damsel in distress

Don't save me, I'm not the princess
I'm the monster.
Run, Romeo, soon you'll see my bony elbows and rotting teeth
I was born emaciated, I'm the skeleton, I'm the phantom
Poorly clothed in fleshy golden glory.
I hope you never find me.
I pray you never rescue me
Because I'll toss you off your noble steed
And run you into the ground until
The muscled flesh rolls off your bones in tears
I love you, Romeo, I love you, Romeo, I'll kill you Romeo

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