The Heart </3

June 15, 2010
Why are we given full hearts when they are clearly meant to be broken?
Fragile like a piece of glass, my heart shatters into shards, falling to the bottom of my soul.
In the crowded room i can hear them point and whisper,
Speaking insults just loud enough for me to hear, like screaming to my ears.
I back away, run to my corner where i hide to feel safe.
I wish i could be anywhere but here.
Just fade away and disappear into nothing.
I hate when you say you don't understand,
It's even worse when you pretend that you do.
They say time heals all wounds,
But that's a lie.
All it does is give you oppurtunity to think and dwell on the pain.
Try as i might to hold my head up high, i still feel the wound, and the scar will forever remain,
Invisible on the heart's surface, outstretched on the shards.
I use a thread of dignity to keep it from falling apart.
You say you'll spend years putting yours back together,
That isn't true either.
Barely two months and now i'm a number?
Now I can't help but wonder,...
If you ever really loved me.
Did you ever really care?
Why can you lift your chin, when i can't stop crying and staring down at my feet?
All great things come to an end,
All dreams are woken up from.
I close my eyes, but even in the privacy of my own mind, I am not safe.
I still see you.
I burned the pictures, but it didn't save me.
Erased the messages you left but still hear your voice.
The memoirs of us tucked away in a drawer I must resist to open.
I still hear your words, they cut like knives leaving scratches on the glass.
"I Don't Care."
I try to dream but am blinded by memories,
Haunted by this past.
Is this what it's like to be heartbroken?
I'm stuck in a moment that wasn't meant to last.
I spent years building up my wall, but with three little words you broke through with ease.
Leaving my heart bare and unprotected.
Now the wall is ruined and my fragile heart has been poisoned.
I guess this is what i get for being so creduluous.
When will the day come?
The day the glass is refurbished and whole again.
Repaired and unexpecting to shatter and invisibly bleed once more.
Each time falling, crashing harder than the last.

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