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Melting Like Snow

The anticipation is building
Until my eyes can drink you in -
To end the dehydration
And force these cracked lips into a grin.

Thoughts of you are my life-rafts
In this unforgiving sea,
That tries to pull me under
But you won't allow to succeed.

A glimpse of you is all I need
To gain consciousness again,
But your touch would bring me back to life -
An electric jolt against bare skin.

How or why you affect me this way,
I doubt I'll ever know -
But I'm glad it's you who keeps me
From melting away like the snow.




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This article has 12 comments. Post your own!

Drizzle29 said...
Aug. 26, 2010 at 12:42 am:
flawless. i have no idea how you make each poem you write so perfect. i think this one is my favorite though :D
 
GangstaEyesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 26, 2010 at 6:14 pm :
Ahw, thank you so much for your encouraging words! It means a lot :)
 
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FantasyWriter17 said...
Aug. 8, 2010 at 9:25 pm:
like it very beautiful i can relate with my bf
 
GangstaEyesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 13, 2010 at 10:07 am :
Yay! I'm glad you can relate and thanks for the comment!
 
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aishia_duh said...
Aug. 7, 2010 at 11:05 pm:
awh i really like this...i really like the ending :)
 
GangstaEyesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 13, 2010 at 10:08 am :
Thank you thank you! :)
 
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GangstaEyesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 1, 2010 at 8:42 am:
:D The first verse has some hidden meaning - kinda a play on words. You'd only catch it if you knew me personally. Just saying :)
 
ellyn-bo-bellyn_2014 replied...
Aug. 6, 2010 at 8:59 am :
hee hee I know what it means... After all I'M the one who pointed it out to you... hah! Love your work!!! Keep it up!
 
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bound4life4ever This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 29, 2010 at 1:42 pm:
omg! this was fabulous!!!!!!!!!!!!! i read one of ur other peoms b4 nd i rote a reminder 2 check out the rest of ur work so here i am looking at it all. I LOVE THIS ONE O MUCH CUZ I NOE XACTLY HOW U FEEL! check out my work if u wanna.. keep writing !!!!!!
 
GangstaEyesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 29, 2010 at 4:54 pm :
Thanks so much! I was worried I jumped around too much... Thanks for the positive feedback! And I'll definitely check you out!
 
Virabbit This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 27, 2010 at 8:05 pm :

Wow, I really like the imagery in the first stanza, with the dehydrated eyes and stuff.  There's a couple little grammar errors, but nothing big or distracting.

I see how it's a more personal poem, but I really connected with it. The language you used was really powerful!

 
GangstaEyesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 28, 2010 at 9:00 am :
Thank you so much - I've been using imagery a lot lately, and find that its a really easy way to make your piece more relatable. I'm glad you connetcted. Thanks!
 
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