Crave attention

June 23, 2010
So put on a show
And fake
Make people like you
With every lie they take
You crave attention
Such a sleazy little thing
Selfish, you discust me
I cant believe what I'm seeing

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sid.m.eversole said...
Jul. 20, 2010 at 6:26 am
I like the message portrayed in this a lot, but I have some constructive criticism as well. This poem starts off very strong, but the ending line is kind of weak. The rest is perfect (save a couple minor spelling errors.) I think you misspelled "sleezy." You may want to check that. Also, it's "disgust." Revise it a bit, make the end as strong as the beginning. Always go out with a bang. Don't be afraid to make it longer. It's very powerful, even so. Keep up the good work.
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