Pretty Flames

June 29, 2010
By haventy0uheard PLATINUM, Kings Park, New York
haventy0uheard PLATINUM, Kings Park, New York
28 articles 0 photos 186 comments

The brightness,
Penetrates,
My surface,
Melts,
The stillness,
Ignites,
Sharp bursts,
Of heat,
Within,
The hands,
Of pretty flames,
Which pry,
At caverns,
In,
My frozen,
Heart.
My heart,
Which yearns,
To feel,
The precious warmth,
Of something…
Different,
Dangerous,
Foreign,
True,
Something…
More,
Which makes,
Me want,
To hold,
Your soft,
Warm,
Hand.



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This article has 18 comments.


on Sep. 15 2010 at 8:52 pm
haventy0uheard PLATINUM, Kings Park, New York
28 articles 0 photos 186 comments
thankyou very much and yeah i use metaphors a lot =]

on Sep. 15 2010 at 7:03 pm
Inkspired PLATINUM, Whitby, Other
26 articles 0 photos 493 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If one will scoff at the study of language, how, save in terms of language, will one scoff?" - Mario Pei
"I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn't, I would die." Isaac Asimov

I love this! It has a great rhythm and I really love how you wrote it, especially all the metaphors at the beginning!

on Sep. 13 2010 at 3:25 pm
haventy0uheard PLATINUM, Kings Park, New York
28 articles 0 photos 186 comments
I wasn't saying this was a dark poem just that i write stuff like that at times..thankyou though! i appreciate the feedback =]

on Sep. 12 2010 at 6:50 pm
DiamondsIntheGrass GOLD, Martinsville, New Jersey
14 articles 1 photo 279 comments

Favorite Quote:
Worry is simply a misuse of the imagination.

huh. never exactly thought of this as a "dark poem", but i guess... what is a dark poem, anyway? but, in all, i really like this poem, and the commas (which i originally thought were slightly irritating) gave it a really nice rhythm.

on Aug. 24 2010 at 10:23 pm
haventy0uheard PLATINUM, Kings Park, New York
28 articles 0 photos 186 comments
Thank you! =]

on Aug. 24 2010 at 9:49 pm
Marlyre PLATINUM, Kalamazoo, Michigan
21 articles 0 photos 208 comments

Favorite Quote:
"when you cry, do you waste your tears?" Madonna

at first i thought the commas would get in the way, but it actually brought out a wonderful rhythm! good job!

on Aug. 22 2010 at 6:56 pm
haventy0uheard PLATINUM, Kings Park, New York
28 articles 0 photos 186 comments
no problem check out some of my newer work if you wantt and comment! =]

on Aug. 22 2010 at 6:08 pm
-LeftBehindBroken- GOLD, Providence, South Carolina
16 articles 0 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
Artists paint on canvas; Musicians paint on silence

THANKS!!!!! I REALLY LIKE YOUR WORK!Th

on Aug. 22 2010 at 12:57 pm
haventy0uheard PLATINUM, Kings Park, New York
28 articles 0 photos 186 comments
haha thank you! I experiment with many different writing styles but I'll probably write a few more like this..and it's okay we all write dark poems sometimes hahaI know I do =]

on Aug. 21 2010 at 10:29 pm
-LeftBehindBroken- GOLD, Providence, South Carolina
16 articles 0 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
Artists paint on canvas; Musicians paint on silence

THIS IS IN THE STYLE OF MOST OF MY WORK, BUT MY POEMS ARE MAINLY ABOUT EMOTIONS AND BEING INTHE DARK. AND BELIEVE ME. IM NOT A CREEP. AND MY CAPLOCK IS MESSED UP IM SO SORRY. BUT HONESTLY I LOVE YOUR WORK AND WANT TO READ MORE!!!!!This i

on Aug. 13 2010 at 8:06 pm
haventy0uheard PLATINUM, Kings Park, New York
28 articles 0 photos 186 comments
thank you so much! i will definetely check out your work =]

_Mags_ SILVER said...
on Aug. 13 2010 at 1:25 am
_Mags_ SILVER, Somewhere, North Carolina
9 articles 7 photos 436 comments

Favorite Quote:
- I stare danger in the face and giggle
- Never argue with an idiot, people might not know the difference
-R.A.P (Retards Attempting Poetry)
-Tip Cologne ryhmes with alone

beautiful 5/5. i like how you made the lines short. You have a lot of talent, i wish i could write poems like that.

btw-can you check out some of my stuff if you get the chance.


on Jul. 24 2010 at 4:43 pm
haventy0uheard PLATINUM, Kings Park, New York
28 articles 0 photos 186 comments
thank you =D

on Jul. 23 2010 at 5:22 pm
irrara12 BRONZE, Columbia, Maryland
3 articles 2 photos 42 comments

Favorite Quote:
not all who wander are lost-jrr tolkien

This is such a beautiful poem. The way you space your words makes it even better.

on Jul. 19 2010 at 4:46 pm
haventy0uheard PLATINUM, Kings Park, New York
28 articles 0 photos 186 comments
thanks so much!

on Jul. 19 2010 at 3:23 pm
thezebrasgray PLATINUM, Taylorsville, Utah
46 articles 0 photos 231 comments
i agree with ChowD.  it has a unique rythm, that makes it great

on Jul. 15 2010 at 8:14 pm
haventy0uheard PLATINUM, Kings Park, New York
28 articles 0 photos 186 comments
thanks<3 i wrote this a while ago so i wasn't sure if it was that good so i appreciate the feedback!:]

on Jul. 14 2010 at 10:18 pm
whisperingofdawn GOLD, Colorado City, Arizona
17 articles 12 photos 87 comments
I <3 this run-on in particular! :] Original rhythm!




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