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Pretty Flames

The brightness,
Penetrates,
My surface,
Melts,
The stillness,
Ignites,
Sharp bursts,
Of heat,
Within,
The hands,
Of pretty flames,
Which pry,
At caverns,
In,
My frozen,
Heart.
My heart,
Which yearns,
To feel,
The precious warmth,
Of something…
Different,
Dangerous,
Foreign,
True,
Something…
More,
Which makes,
Me want,
To hold,
Your soft,
Warm,
Hand.



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This article has 18 comments. Post your own now!

Inkspired said...
Sept. 15, 2010 at 7:03 pm
I love this! It has a great rhythm and I really love how you wrote it, especially all the metaphors at the beginning!
 
xovanillatwilightxo This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 15, 2010 at 8:52 pm
thankyou very much and yeah i use metaphors a lot =]
 
Marlyre This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 24, 2010 at 9:49 pm
at first i thought the commas would get in the way, but it actually brought out a wonderful rhythm! good job!
 
xovanillatwilightxo This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 24, 2010 at 10:23 pm
Thank you! =]
 
CoLdEsT_NiGhTs said...
Aug. 21, 2010 at 10:29 pm
THIS IS IN THE STYLE OF MOST OF MY WORK, BUT MY POEMS ARE MAINLY ABOUT EMOTIONS AND BEING INTHE DARK. AND BELIEVE ME. IM NOT A CREEP. AND MY CAPLOCK IS MESSED UP IM SO SORRY. BUT HONESTLY I LOVE YOUR WORK AND WANT TO READ MORE!!!!!This i
 
xovanillatwilightxo This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 22, 2010 at 12:57 pm
haha thank you! I experiment with many different writing styles but I'll probably write a few more like this..and it's okay we all write dark poems sometimes hahaI know I do =]
 
CoLdEsT_NiGhTs replied...
Aug. 22, 2010 at 6:08 pm
THANKS!!!!! I REALLY LIKE YOUR WORK!Th
 
xovanillatwilightxo This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 22, 2010 at 6:56 pm
no problem check out some of my newer work if you wantt and comment! =]
 
DiamondsIntheGrass This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 12, 2010 at 6:50 pm
huh. never exactly thought of this as a "dark poem", but i guess... what is a dark poem, anyway? but, in all, i really like this poem, and the commas (which i originally thought were slightly irritating) gave it a really nice rhythm.
 
xovanillatwilightxo This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 13, 2010 at 3:25 pm
I wasn't saying this was a dark poem just that i write stuff like that at times..thankyou though! i appreciate the feedback =]
 
_Elsy_ said...
Aug. 13, 2010 at 1:25 am

beautiful 5/5. i like how you made the lines short. You have a lot of talent, i wish i could write poems like that.

btw-can you check out some of my stuff if you get the chance.

 
xovanillatwilightxo This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 13, 2010 at 8:06 pm
thank you so much! i will definetely check out your work =]
 
irrara12 said...
Jul. 23, 2010 at 5:22 pm
This is such a beautiful poem. The way you space your words makes it even better.
 
xovanillatwilightxo This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 24, 2010 at 4:43 pm
thank you =D
 
brax34 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 19, 2010 at 3:23 pm
i agree with ChowD.  it has a unique rythm, that makes it great
 
xovanillatwilightxo This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 19, 2010 at 4:46 pm
thanks so much!
 
ChowD This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 14, 2010 at 10:18 pm
I <3 this run-on in particular! :] Original rhythm!
 
xovanillatwilightxo This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 15, 2010 at 8:14 pm
thanks<3 i wrote this a while ago so i wasn't sure if it was that good so i appreciate the feedback!:]
 
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