Friends Forever?

I hate this
I hate you
But I don't
Not really
Because I know it's not your fault
Maybe it's mine.
Even though I didn't realize it
That I left you behind
I wish we could go back
To the way we were before
Before everything changed
And we all grew up
And we met new people
And we stopped talking
I wish I wasn't
Constantly trying
To figure you out
I already know you
At least I did,
Back then
You changed your hair
I liked it better before
Sure, you look prettier
But you look just like her
My replacement
I knew her, too
Before I left
But she always liked you better
I was just a third wheel
Well, now I'm
Just that one chick
That used to hang with her friend
Well, you were my best friend first
Not hers.
I miss you.
This feeling
It's eating at everything
Inside of me
Driving me over the edge
I think I'm going insane
I'm coming to visit next week
You said you can't wait
You said you missed me
I believe you
But will it be the same?
We've both changed so much
You had that... thing
Last year
She had it first
You were sorry for her
She gave you the idea
There was another person too
She didn't help much either
So it happened to you too
I was scared
I thought you were going
To leave me forever.
I didn't know how to respond
Or what to do.
I'm glad it's over
That you're doing better
But now you never talk to me
It's so awkward when you do
I always email or IM you first
And you never directly answer my questions
I'm glad you ask me how I'm doing
But I want to know about you, too
I never know what to say when we IM
You always have to leave
Even though I want to keep talking
I don't care what
I just want to know
That you aren't just trying
To get rid of me
By making up excuses
I trust that you don't
But it's hard not to think of these things
When it feels like we're drifting
Farther and farther every day
I know this poem is long and cliché
But I wanted to let you know how I felt
And that even if you don't return the feeling
You'll always be my best friend. <3