Riddles Are Stupid

May 29, 2010
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I have a riddle, Brittany says.

Shoot, I say, dragging my pencil across a sheet of notebook paper that I should be writing on.

What's blue, hangs on a wall, and whistles?

Hm, I mumble something to myself, Is it a blue whistling clock?

No, she giggles, hiding behind her hands.

I give up, I say, adding eyes to the cat I was drawing.

It's a herring, she laughs.

What the- I look up from my drawing, But a herring's not blue!

It is if you paint it.

Herrings don't hang on a wall, I challenge.

You can nail it to a wall.

But a herring doesn't whistle! I slam my pencil down on the table. How do you explain that one then? Huh?

Precisely, she says. I just said it whistled to make the riddle harder.

That's stupid. I have a better riddle than that.

So try me, she says.

What's green, bumpy, has four doors, and goes 'Slam, slam, slam, slam, zoom!'?

A trout?

What the hell is wrong with you Brittany?

I said a herring, so I figured you'd probably say some kind of fish. Or is it a bird?

You're stupid. It's a four-door family pickle.

Now that's stupid, she says, laughing so hard she had tars in her eyes.

Yours was stupider, I laughed too, practically falling from my seat.

At least a herring exists, What's a family pickle?

Shut up, I say, still trying to catch my breath from the laughter.

Riddles are stupid anyway, let's do something else. How about a joke?

Sure, I say, regaining my composure.

What do you get if you cross and elephant with a rhino?

I don't know, what?

'Ell if I know!





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