I am waiting and hoping,
I am struggling and fighting,
kicking and screaming. yelling and throwing,
and I am smiling in defeat because I know,

I know they do not understand.

I am holding it all in, biting,
trying to make it work and failing,
keeping quiet yet I am still loudly thinking,
deep in the night I am crying and asking,

for the answers to please appear.

I am compulsively, distractedly,
angrily, worriedly, anxiously, impatiently,
looking, searching, discovering, needing,
lashing out and taking a deep breath,

I know that nothing is wrong, yet something is.

I am stuffing it all down, shutting it up,
locking it, swallowing, ignoring, forgetting,
I keep quiet and dream, not saying a word,
until it is too much, and I know it isn't right.

Do you see all this?~