May 3, 2010
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life is one big circle
eventually it all comes back to the beginning
Why is it that some find energy in people while others are hermits?
"because we were born this way" some would say
i think it has more to do with how the person grew up
how the household was

Why is it that when someone is different they are ridiculed?
my theory is that human kind wants to have everyone the same
well not the same but like them
some people are exceptions to that rule
that's a rare thing these days
but there are people like that

Why is it that when someone has power they want more of it?
"but we already found this out", someone would say
i say that it's selfishness and a primitive urge to gain more power
but if someone got rid of those instincts
then the world would be a good place
because that idea would spread and spread
like a highly contagious virus
we are very flawed
including me
but those flaws make us have the power of free will
and it's the specific person's morale code that makes the decisions
today there's such a gray area
that you can't tell who's good or bad

Why is it that some are always covering up who they are, not showing true colors?
the will to be accepted
that will is what makes the mind crazy
drives people insane
if you wait long enough then someone who'll accept you will come along
but patience seems to be in short supply with most people
not all

Why is it that when someone is alone they seek others?
sociology could explain that
i remember reading this in The Stand by Stephen King
this was from a man with a pessimistic view on humankind:

"Show me a man or a woman alone and I'll show you a saint. Give me two and they'll fall in love. Give me three and they'll invent the charming thing we call 'society'. Give me four and they'll build a pyramid. Give me five and they'll make one an outcast. Give me six and they'll reinvent prejudice. Give me seven and in seven years they'll reinvent warfare. Man may have been made in the image of God, but human society was made in the image of His opposite number, and is always trying to get back home."

This excerpt is completely true
though it came from a pessimist

Why is it that lying seems to be the best thing in most situations?
because it's a quick fix of a problem
like a thing of tape on your glasses
though it takes care of the problem
it'll eventually come back to haunt you
but some devote their lives to lying
it's so bad to the point where they don't even know what is the truth

Why am i doing this?
simply because i want you all that are tagged in this how i think about life
i do this all the time
in the mornings and nights it seems most frequent
i say, "i'm just lethargic", but i'm not
my mind is elsewhere
not in my body
it's as if my fragmented soul left my body for a time
it seems that the place where my mind has gone is way better than where i am now
i get lost in the simplest things
seeing the moon late at night
the rain
the snow
an empty beach in the middle of winter
a night sky filled with stars
it seems to get me away
my meditation if you will
it's morphine to the pain that is inside
causes a small time of happiness
but once life is thrust at me it comes back
i take it face on
even though inside it destroys me
so i walk, whenever i'm there, on a beach, in the rain or snow, outside at 3 AM at a lake
so quiet it is that i don't think
i wish there would be silence
because for me to get away i need to create more noise
through music
my train of thought will never end and i don't think this will hold that much
so i will finish with a last thought
go towards what you want
don't be swayed to do something cause your parents want you to
you will end up miserable
just live life the way you want to
your dreams, no matter how trivial are important

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