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Julien Yllanes RIP May 4, 2010

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I am sorry that I wasn't what you wanted,
What did you expect from me?
To ignore my friends? to ignore my life?
You wanted me to love you and only you
I have too much love for just you.
I can't give you all my love
I feel so much love for so many other people
Why would you try to take all of my love?
why would you try to make sure i only belong to you?
I am not ONLY yours and I never will be JUST yours
You need to learn how to share little boy,
or else you're just going to scare them all away.
They way you try to show your affection is
SUFFICATING
You sufficated me.
that's why i "turned on you"
You sufficated me to the point where i needed to break away and breathe again
You forced me to leave
You sufficated me
you took away my freedom
I AM FREE
You can't touch me
I am the best you ever had?
PROVE IT
you selfish b******
You only want me for yourself
I AM NOT SOMEONES PROPERTY
I will never BELONG to someone.
Not even YOU
you are nothing to me
nothing to anyone but your beloved family.
Why do you sufficate everyone you get near?
You sufficated me to the point where i didn't want you anymore.
to the point where
all i wanted was Him.
Because he loved me, and he was willing to share.
He didn't sufficate me.
With him,
I AM STILL FREE
Catch me
if you can
I won't get caught up in your sweet candy laced words
I won't get caught up in your guilt trip
You won't guilt me into loving you
You chased me away
SO stop yelling at me
and
FACE THE TRUTH
You don't know what you wanna do
except to be loved
you want to be loved but you don't ask
YOU TAKE
you take it all and suck it in
You have taken everything from me
You bribe
you cheat
you lie
you steal
you don't wait for someone to love you, you take it
before they can change their mind
before they look too close at who you really are
I HATE YOU
but i love you
but i want to rip out your heart and squeeze it
until you cry out
they way you made me
CRY OUT
in pain
in hurt
in devistation
in
ABANDONMENT
you have abandoned me
without even waiting to hear what i had to say
YOU SUFFCIATED ME
YOU CHOKED ME
until I wanted nothing but to get away from you
nothing but to escape your lies
I am happy you left me
I am happy you are gone
because now
I AM FREE
and you will
NEVER
HOLD ME DOWN





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