Drowning…
I was drowning…
And I couldn’t catch my breath
This water that has held me up for so long broke loyalty with me so quickly
With just a few words you turned my balance against me
This mystical relationship of buoyancy that kept me afloat along the waves disappeared with several syllables from your tongue
Love covered lies swirled around me like a whirlpool sucking the air from my lungs and reality began to make me sink

Why pull me into your sea of love where I breathe though your words
And then suffocate me with your broken promises of the end
Those promises of love were my oxygen they helped me breathe though the days and night that I found myself swept up in the gentle storm that you called your love
I found myself being pulled farther and deeper underneath those waves of passion until I was entranced in your magical words that flew past me like bubbles of air reaching for the surface

Breathing…
I could breathe then...
I could sing your praises along with thunder
I could dance through single drops of rain as they fell from the heavenly skies
Promises slipped from our lips like dew
Yet I didn’t know I would be the only one intending on keeping my words of love

Love…
Love…
I was made dumb and naïve by your love covered lies
Already been burned and swept up in a hell fired storm your promises cooled the burns on my skin and my heart like the water from the Garden of Eden
Water that was preciously made by God to heal, restore, and make anew
Thinking you were heaven sent I ran…no I leapt into your not thinking just feeling

Maybe that’s where I went wrong following my heart that had been reaching for love for so long
Crying out for the need to feel the love that I wanted to give another
God bless my ignorance…
I fell for your love covered lies all at once
Following the once thought harmless mistakes of my mother
By forgiving you for every mistake you made and every fault you had
Why…
Why….
Why could I not just rip myself from this life line of love so early on!?

I do not doubt the love you felt
I do not regret the love we had
I regret your lack of fighting
Life is a constant storm filled with harsh waves, lightning, thunder, and every kind of predator that wants to tear you apart
In my heart I wanted to plead with you to fight
Fight for your love for me…
But you couldn’t and you wouldn’t…
And that’s where you fell short and that is where we had to end
That and your promises of forever and lives spent together announced to me that they were lies
Lies…
Lies…
That were so eloquently covered in love

I should have known better but again I was swept in the gentle storm of your love
I thought I would be forever linked to you and protected beneath your arms
That is where I fell short…
Naiveness…weakness…and an ever present need of companionship
It had made me blind
For I should have known that just because my heart and my soul may be old doesn’t mean that maturity I have is graced among my peers…
My passion, love, loyalty, and ever present faith was too much for you to wrap your head around

God bless my ignorance…
D*mn my feelings and my heart
Because through the drama you still have some invisible indestructible bond that continuously tugs on my soul
Why…
Why is it that I can close my eyes and your image graces my mind?
Why is it that I try to push you farther and farther away but you always seem to jump back to being the first and only thing I’m thinking about?
Why can’t I just drop and erase and kill and push away the love I feel just as easily as you could?...

Love for you is a curse…
That no amount of prayer, witchcraft or memory displacement can help dissipate
Your last promise is what I unfortunately look forward to though I try to empty it out of my mind ever day
Your last supposed love covered lie…
The same lie that I sometimes wonder and slightly doubt that it is a lie
That maybe it could be a love covered truth…
Your words ring in my head all the time…
“I promise that there will be an ‘us’ in the future.”
And though I hate to admit it…I await that day to see if you covered your last bit of love in a truth or a lie