I hate feeling like I hate you
and knowing that I don't,
knowing that I can't,
knowing that it doesn't matter in the end.

I hate pretending I don't care
and pretending that I've moved on,
pretending I don't avoid you, pretending that you don't notice when I won't look you in the eyes.

I hate smiling when you smile at me
and smiling when you tell a joke,
smiling because you want me to,
smiling because if I don't I'll hurt your feelings.

I hate hugging you when you're sad
and hugging you when you're crying,
hugging you because I hurt you,
hugging you because I don't want to let you go.

I hate loving you when you've hurt me
and loving you when you've made me so mad,
loving you because it's what I should do,
loving you because it's all I ever could do, as much as I may hate it.