March 24, 2010
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When you first saw me,
What did you think?
Did your eyes roll back?
Did you breathe a sigh of relief?
Or did you just stare?
I wonder what you thought,
that first day in the hospital.
Did you notice my first blink?
My first intake of air?
Did you gush over my new smile?
I want to be held in your arms
That day when we first met.
If I could remember, I would.
Oh, would I.
If I could make you remember, I would.
Were you anxious?
Is that why you looked away?
Is that why you chose not to love me?
I wonder what you were thinking,
as you handed me off to the nurse.
Did you regret it?
Did you know it was the last time you'd ever see me?
I never knew it was possible
to miss someone you've never met.
To love someone with all your heart,
and truly know it's not mutual.
So why did you give me up, Mom?
Why have you sentenced me to a lifetime of wondering?
Because that's what I am.
Abandoned in the dark.
Sent to a different world, one where I am alone.
One where I stare at my shoes, wondering.
One where I have lost the right,
to call you Mommy.

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This article has 8 comments. Post your own now!

Imaginedangerous This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 12, 2010 at 4:40 pm
I loved it. You are good at creating the right mood.
thewriteidea This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 3, 2010 at 2:00 pm
thank you!
alaskan_girl said...
Jun. 11, 2010 at 12:55 am
this almost brought tears to my eyes! did this really happen??
thewriteidea This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:23 am
no, it didn't actually happen. but i wrote it in recognition for all the mother-less children in the world. i could feel their pain just by writing this piece.
poohbear777 said...
Apr. 19, 2010 at 9:26 am
Giving up a child is a hard thing to do.  The author shows depth of understanding from the child's perspective, and I'd like to see the author's understanding of the mother's perspective, as well.  Great poem!
jill456 said...
Apr. 12, 2010 at 10:47 pm
this is one of your sadder poems. did this really happen? and if not, maybe someone else has left you and you're comparing that experience to this person's one with their mother. very well written...this is one of my favorites
PrezLover101 said...
Apr. 11, 2010 at 9:20 pm
was this a true experience? you're mom couldnt have given you up? what's this aboutt???
Venus_Queen said...
Apr. 11, 2010 at 9:13 pm
i can feel your feelings in this! this is really good too! :}
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