i cannot

March 18, 2010
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I cannot breathe without your grace
As its only by your face
I can see and hear
Without rivers of fears

I cannot walk your path without the acknowledgement
I desire from you
Not something I have to interpret
To understand enough to
Follow
You

I cannot think to eat to breathe
But you keep me up
I cannot live to see your face
I cannot live to see your grace

i cannot do tis
i'm so
very, very
sorry...
so
sorry.





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This article has 6 comments. Post your own now!

Moonbeam13 said...
May 7, 2010 at 5:59 am
Ok, well i honestly don't think there's anything at all wrong with the poem! Could u read the rest of my poems and comment?
 
purplechoc replied...
Oct. 4, 2010 at 4:35 pm

 

okay

 
clh52 said...
May 4, 2010 at 4:48 pm
this is pretty good. the only thing i'd say is that it needs a little bit more rhythm because as of now, it's interesting, but it's not entirely catchy.
 
purplechoc replied...
May 4, 2010 at 8:53 pm

i agree. thanks

 

 
purplechoc said...
Apr. 10, 2010 at 1:52 am
okay guys i know this is dreary but please please please give me critisism
 
cheetoz45680 replied...
Aug. 11, 2011 at 10:01 pm
well yeah i don't like this one that much because like that chick said it doesn't have much rhythm.  work on it a bit and make it awesome and amazing like your other poems
 
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