Losing Him

March 16, 2010
I don’t know that I’ll be home very often
He says to me and my heart breaks
Like a glass falling off a shelf
Onto a tile floor where it
Shatters to a million pieces
Ok, I say
My voice a whisper
I don’t look at his face
Because I know that if I do
He’ll see the hurt writ all over my face
I feel selfish for wanting him
Close to me all the time
And I cannot let him know
That it hurts me to let him go
Even though it kills me
I bury my face into his warm
Chest and bite my bottom lip
Thinking about his absence
And trying to imagine life
Without him
Trying to imagine the halls
Without him there waiting for me
And trying to imagine not
Seeing him on a day to day basis
But we have the summer
He says almost as an afterthought
And I remember that summer
Is never as long as it seems
And I remember that he leaves
In August
And I cling to him then
Like it’s my last time with him
Like this is goodbye
Like I’m losing him
Because when he said that
I felt like I lost part of me
With the words that he spoke
So carelessly
So unknowingly careless
He spoke those words
And I felt my heart break
Shatter to a million pieces
And leave me empty inside
As I truly felt for the first time
What it felt like
To be losing him





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