Hold Me-For You Hurt Me

March 5, 2010
By Anonymous

Hold me-For you hurt me
Is that too much to ask?
I want your muscled arms, to heal my lanky heart’s gushing gash
Through the changing suns and moons
My heart’s pulse is still at a rate slow
Then when you touch me-it quickens the pace
Suddenly my corpse soul is resurrected
Healing the scars you dug into it with the jagged claws of your words
Your warm embrace pulls the memories within me
Conceiving them into reality
The undeniable wholesome feeling of life racing into my veins
Like heroine, I am addicted to your earnest touch
Crave for your verbal admiration of deeply grasping sonnets
Cry if I am left without it
My lungs react in dismiss to your smile
For its intoxicating aroma put into my fragile bones is far too much
Far too much
Though my body refuses it
The invasion creates a security blanket over my wounds
You’re covering up the damage then . . .
Telling me you’ll never make broken promises again
I am at peace, my mind is sound
Your arms wrapped around me
I feel the shutters slowly brake within my chest
The puddles on the floor stop growing wider
I am complacent again with you, trusting you completely

Suddenly you rip the blanket from underneath me
Sending me back into a place where my fingers twitch
Where the world is a darker place
Where life seems too unfulfilled
Rejection is the atmosphere
Vulnerability is now my best friend
It is as if you do not know what you’re doing to me!
As if hurting me has become so natural you do it absent mindedly

I have two fatal choices to decide on
They both confuse me for I will be unhappy either way
Do I leave or wait for him to stay?
His imprint is so deep into my brain that I can’t function without him on my mind
Maybe I am too deep in love
Or rather I am falling out of it
Maybe I’m realizing that my addiction to his abuse will never quit
I walk upon the darkened path he has given me
And I will never leave it

The author's comments:
I wrote this poem because I felt like I needed a way to explain why I was and still am in love with a guy who treats me badly. Just to kind of explain why I always go back. Because even though he hurt me, it was because I loved him so much that it hurt. And that-is what drives me to keep loving him.

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