Butterfly Acid in my Heart

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Peanut butter words catch in my throat,
As too long of sentences tangle in my voice box,
My heart flutters insanely fast,
And I can barely breathe in more than gasps,
My hands are shaking,
And nothing can help me.
(You just spared me a passing glance.)

I’m blinking threehundredfive times a minute,
As I can see all the tremors of mother nature in my fingertips,
My mind is flipping through a thousand images,
Of lovely happy endings,
And my knees are made of jelly,
Threatening to destabilize me to the ground.
(You smiled at me for a moment.)

My heart is beating out the rythms,
Of what I want to say to you,
But my mouth has become full of cotton,
And nothing can escape the spiderwebs ,
On my love laden lips,
(Your hand just brushed against mine.)

I’m cleaning out the spiderwebs,
And letting out those nervous coughs,
There are a million words to say,
Like the three simple ones,
But the expression on your face,
Makes me doubt myself,
(We’re still touching, but you look sad.)

My hand clings to my chest,
Urging my heart to shut up,
And my body closes in on itself,
Hugging away the fears,
And telling itself,
That it won’t happen...
(You looked hurt.)

My body shudders,
And my lips open slightly,
My heavy breathing continuing,
Merely at your prescience,
And I can’t stand it,
The feelings are overwhelming.
(You just pulled a strand of hair from my face.)

My body shudders once more,
And my throat is slowly closing,
Cutting off the supply of oxygen,
To my heart and lungs…
And it hurts,
To know you don’t understand.
(You spoke, “Are you okay?”)

I shiver up and down my spine,
Feeling the bugs of butterfly nervousness,
Doing tangos around my digestive track,
And I know my voice is almost inaudible,
As I mutter, “it’s nothing.”
And I can’t help but regret the thick with lies words…
(You replied, “It’s not nothing.” You being almost a perfect stranger…)

Somehow, I believed you,
My lip quivering as I thought of it,
And I found my vocal cords freed,
And my lips released from the nervous vicegrip,
And I spoke once more,
“I love you.”
(You paused and sat there doing nothing for a while.)

My heart tremored,
And I swear it stopped,
As I felt burning droplets of acid,
Burning down from my eyes,
I knew you’d get up and leave,
And I’d lose my chance at life…
(You hugged me.)

Okay, that time my heart did stop,
As the droplets of acid fell on your shirt,
And my shaking arms wrapped around you,
My tremoring fingertips caressing your back,
And I lay my head in the rest by your neck,
Listening to the musicality of the life in you,
(You spoke, “I love you too…”)

The acid turned to honey,
And gravity died as a smile graced my lips,
My fingertips, unmoving, laced through yours,
And my breathing hitched in my throat,
Making my heart beat slower and slower,
In rhythm with your’s.
(You kissed me.)

My heart stopped,
And nothing could be controlled,
As my lips gave themselves to you,
Losing their delicacy and their kissing virginity,
Though I don’t think they minded,
Nor, I think, did your’s.
(You pulled away and spoke, “You’re mine.”)

The words were soft, but they stopped my mind,
And I could hear the silence and your breath,
And I could see the love in your eyes,
And I could feel the love in your touch,
And my lungs only started working again,
When I needed them to speak, “Thank you…”
(You pulled me close and held me to your chest.)

My eyes watered your shirt,
Letting little sparkles of hope,
Drift down into your skin,
And I suddenly felt happy,
Like the sun was shining just for us,
Just for you… “I love you.”
(You hugged me close, “I’ll always love you too…”)





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