Leave Me

February 15, 2010
By Eden Lewis GOLD, Ann Arbor, Michigan
Eden Lewis GOLD, Ann Arbor, Michigan
16 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Yes please, turn off the lights. I'll stumble around in the dark. Can you stand up or will you just fall down? I'm alright on the ground. I'm feeling just fine in my fantasy, where nothing really matters anymore. No windows no doors and I'm ok. I sit in my crumpled dress I dont care what you have to say. I'm ok I'm ok.
Leave me alone in my mind. Leave me I'll be just fine. Silly girl looking for ways to survive. Lonely girl always barely alive.
You see as I sit here boiling in my sleep so dreamy please don't touch me I will awake please don't awake.
Darkness all around me I swallow it down and keep the sun behind these walls. There's no climbing there's no digging. And that's ok. I'm not going to try anyway. I make my way ok. And to not remember is ideal. Nothing matters and I dont have to deal.
Leave me alone in my mind. Leave me I'll be just fine. And I love you as long as you're far away. Don't touch me. Don't bring my memories back. Leave them behind and don't make new ones. Forget forget.
Forget me.
Because I'll leave you anyways.
And things will never be the same. As they were yesterday. I don't remember that day and I don't remember that conversation. You know things about me that I never will again. But what does it matter? Doll mouths don't speak.
Silly girl looking for ways to survive. She'll never really be alive. Moving in this world she doesn't exist. Just a hologram of what is closed
Darkness. I like it here. No thinking no feeling. No memories. Make a mannequin of me. Dress me up how you please. Just please don't shake me. As long as I'm sleeping take me take me.
I don't want to see. Turn out the lights and leave me. I'll live where you love me even though I can't love you. I'll pretend that I do. And I'll swallow swallow swallow so I don't remember and I'll stay shallow because the deep waters hurt. The seaweed tangles my ankles and I drown I sputter I spit and I swallow. I drown it out. I slur and you blur and all is fine. I'm ok because I would have died anyway.
Don't touch me. My skin is burnt. All you'll do is hurt. I curl as I hurl up my life and my blood. Everything that could have been haunts me. So leave me with the ghosts. They can't touch me. They aren't real so we fit together perfectly. Dolls can't feel. I'll sit in my crumpled dress and I'm ok. I don't care what you have to say.

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