Thunderstruck | Teen Ink

Thunderstruck

February 15, 2010
By Sarbear GOLD, Milan, Ohio
Sarbear GOLD, Milan, Ohio
10 articles 4 photos 489 comments

Favorite Quote:
--Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
--When life gives you lemons, squirt them in people's eyes.


THUNDERSTRUCK

The sky opens up suddenly,
Water falls in sheets,
Bucketfuls pour from dark clouds,
Thunder crashes in the distance,
Lightning zigzags above the trees,
But I am calm,
I concentrate on the ping of the rain on the roof,
And that I am safe inside this house in these warm covers,
In this bedroom where thoughts can be freely thought,
About anything and about everything,
Storms make me think more than usual,
Especially when they’re over,
Walking in the damp mud,
Staring up at forest green trees,
Smelling the calming scent of washed away raindrops,
Seeing wriggling worms struggle on the concrete,
I’m thinking about anything and everything,
Remembering,
Back to memories of childhood,
Seeing it rain in the front yard and not in the back,
Thinking it was magic,
But the storm has to start and end somewhere,
And so do the deer, the worms, the skunks, the minks, the foxes, me,
Where do I end?
But I don’t worry about this thought,
I take a hike in the woods,
Watch deer tiptoe over logs,
Frozen when they spot me,
And again let my mind wander,
Out here where anything is possible,
Where every theory and thought is a possibility,
Where I wish I could ask the animals questions,
I want to ask the mole what it’s like to be trapped in the sandy soil all day,
Ask the deer how it feels to see a brother taken away by a human, like me,
Ask the birds if the clouds get in their way,
And I wish I knew the answers to other questions too,
Like why I’m here,
Why I matter amongst all the millions of people here,
Why anyone matters, why anything exists,
The world will die because of us, because of me,
And then everything will end,
Just like an unsent letter,
To a friend or family member,
Hate and anger tangled in words that will never be looked upon again,
Written for no reason at all, except for the sake of having written something,
And this life is only for the sake of having lived,
And I don’t know what will happen when my end comes,
What will be there,
But all I know is that right now, in my present,
There is beauty in nature around me,
And I wish this is how the whole world was:
Covered in beauty.



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This article has 76 comments.


Sarbear GOLD said...
on Feb. 14 2011 at 6:05 pm
Sarbear GOLD, Milan, Ohio
10 articles 4 photos 489 comments

Favorite Quote:
--Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
--When life gives you lemons, squirt them in people's eyes.

i have to say that i dont agree. describing every tiny detail isn't a bad thing. i want the reader to experience it exactly the way i did. zeroing in on details still leaves room for imagination and everyone experiences a poem their own way.

on Nov. 19 2010 at 10:38 pm
Strangecolor BRONZE, Ellicott City, Maryland
3 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Everything we do is insignificant, but it is very important that we do it." -Gandhi

Less words to mean more, ya know? Don't feel like you have to explain every little think, see if you can find, or create, the perfect word to really zone in on a particular sensation. I like writing haikus as a way to exercise this :) But there's nothing like a good, beautiful, winding thing as well, they certainly have their virtues.

Sarbear GOLD said...
on Nov. 19 2010 at 9:13 pm
Sarbear GOLD, Milan, Ohio
10 articles 4 photos 489 comments

Favorite Quote:
--Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
--When life gives you lemons, squirt them in people's eyes.

mhm...thanks for commenting...any specific criticism to help me "pop?" :)

on Nov. 16 2010 at 7:23 am
Strangecolor BRONZE, Ellicott City, Maryland
3 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Everything we do is insignificant, but it is very important that we do it." -Gandhi

"Where do I end" mhmm. I love rain. You have some good very thoughts, DEFINITELY keep writing. I personally go for a more laconic approach, you've got potential to really pop.

Sarbear GOLD said...
on Nov. 15 2010 at 4:25 pm
Sarbear GOLD, Milan, Ohio
10 articles 4 photos 489 comments

Favorite Quote:
--Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
--When life gives you lemons, squirt them in people's eyes.

wow thank you! that is such a nice comment...i appreciate it :))

Minnie said...
on Oct. 12 2010 at 9:25 pm
That was amazing, Lola. It actually gave me shivers. :D *****

Sarbear GOLD said...
on Sep. 8 2010 at 5:17 pm
Sarbear GOLD, Milan, Ohio
10 articles 4 photos 489 comments

Favorite Quote:
--Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
--When life gives you lemons, squirt them in people's eyes.

thanks!! i appreciate your feedback

matt's gurl said...
on Sep. 8 2010 at 10:08 am
This poem is the best i have ever read wow!

Sarbear GOLD said...
on Apr. 17 2010 at 3:11 pm
Sarbear GOLD, Milan, Ohio
10 articles 4 photos 489 comments

Favorite Quote:
--Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
--When life gives you lemons, squirt them in people's eyes.

thank you for the feedback!

BigDCo3 said...
on Apr. 14 2010 at 12:23 pm
BigDCo3, Saugus, Massachusetts
0 articles 0 photos 6 comments
I liked how you described the elements.

Sarbear GOLD said...
on Apr. 10 2010 at 7:58 pm
Sarbear GOLD, Milan, Ohio
10 articles 4 photos 489 comments

Favorite Quote:
--Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
--When life gives you lemons, squirt them in people's eyes.

thank you! thunderstorms definately make you think!! :)

on Apr. 10 2010 at 6:12 pm
MessOfADreamer PLATINUM, North Tonawanda, New York
22 articles 2 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I write for the same reason I breathe -- because if I didn't, I would die." -Isaac Asimov

I really like this, probably because I really love thunderstorms and you described them well. And I too start thinking a lot whenever they roll around. :D

Sarbear GOLD said...
on Apr. 9 2010 at 4:18 pm
Sarbear GOLD, Milan, Ohio
10 articles 4 photos 489 comments

Favorite Quote:
--Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
--When life gives you lemons, squirt them in people's eyes.

that's exactly what i was going for--i'm glad you liked it :)

on Apr. 9 2010 at 1:01 pm
jesusfreak17 SILVER, Winslow, Maine
9 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Tears are words from the heart that can't be spoken."- Unknown
"Anyone can make you smile or cry, but it takes someone special to make you smile when you already have tears in your eyes."- Unknown

This is really good. I use to hate storms but then as I got older I loved them. There is something about just hearing the rain on the windows and knowing something that can be violent can bring so much beauty to the world. It also helps me think.

Sarbear GOLD said...
on Apr. 3 2010 at 7:20 pm
Sarbear GOLD, Milan, Ohio
10 articles 4 photos 489 comments

Favorite Quote:
--Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
--When life gives you lemons, squirt them in people's eyes.

maybe more like what u call an epic fail...

Sarbear GOLD said...
on Apr. 3 2010 at 7:19 pm
Sarbear GOLD, Milan, Ohio
10 articles 4 photos 489 comments

Favorite Quote:
--Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
--When life gives you lemons, squirt them in people's eyes.

that right there, my friend, is what i call an epic fail...

on Apr. 3 2010 at 6:56 pm
Lola_Sveroski, Manschef, Ohio
0 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
I am an author. Normal was out of the question by the age of three.

College? Environmentalist? Emily?

on Apr. 3 2010 at 6:55 pm
Lola_Sveroski, Manschef, Ohio
0 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
I am an author. Normal was out of the question by the age of three.

You know it Sarah!

 


on Apr. 3 2010 at 6:19 pm
Lola_Sveroski, Manschef, Ohio
0 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
I am an author. Normal was out of the question by the age of three.

Maybes... Problem is, I don't archive chats and I didn't type it on Word... LOL.

Sarbear GOLD said...
on Apr. 3 2010 at 12:16 pm
Sarbear GOLD, Milan, Ohio
10 articles 4 photos 489 comments

Favorite Quote:
--Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
--When life gives you lemons, squirt them in people's eyes.

its called cut and paste!! use your butterfly poem you showed me some of :)))