you always told me

that they were below me

that i didn't need them

that i was unique.

until all the shadows

turned into meadows

until my heartbeat

fell into a trap.

pulse

pulse

breath

you knew it was over

when the theater exploded

when the monsters of fiction

came out of the books

you said it was needed

that history repeated

that every word i ever spoke

was turned inside out

so i'm bleeding letters

and you're watching torture

i'm holding the dolphins

you're pausing your life.

when finally silent

the night complicates things

and out of the shadows

comes out my demise

i've planned it all out

i've dug my grave

ready

to dance on my tombstone

while i rot and burn

my heart

bruised purple

i've sung three words for you

you always told me

that i never shut up.

it's always about you

how needy and restless

your eloquence

and elegance

and self-explanation

just give me a reason

i'll pull the trigger

just say the word

and sometimes i wonder

is this all that matters?

you told me already

that love was a lie.

and when

in the darkness

a single blade glimmers

you told me that engines

were the souls of cars

and how does this matter?

but i still remember

the things that you promised

the times that you lied

you made me promise

to keep your secret

you knew i'd keep it

i have no one to tell.

but finally maybe

i've found a reason

for being

for seeing

for running from you

and when i deceived you

i lied and betrayed you

you hurt me

you cut my lungs open too

and now i am dying

but the pictures are clearer

i see the whole truth

coming up in the sky

it's blue like the silence

gold

like your eyes

but that shade of ochre

i'd never forget

and when you blinked

once

twice

thrice

dance!

eyes that

reflected the ceiling

that couldn't see

but i knew

you were faking

you could see

the chandelier

it rattled and shook

and fell from the hook

it fell onto you

the whole building

smoke

i couldn't see you

but i knew it was over

your immaculate clothing

was covered in dust

my hat off to you

but i'd rather not, really

who knows

perhaps

alive is alive.

and so

complicated

sedated

restricted

i went to the parlor

and had a nice drink

i waited and waited

half past the hour

you pulled the trigger

covered in blood

i guessed incorrectly

and now you are standing

directly above me

pay your respects

and while i am looking

because, yes, i can see you

it is quite eerie

how neat things can be

and so

ends the story

of suicide lovers

who broke thirteen glasses

four plates

and

one heart.