February 1, 2010
I love you, you hate me, I want you, but it can't be. But your loosing my love now don't you see. You don't know what you have until I leave.

You said you loved me that you would never leave, so why are you walking away from me. I knew this would be to good to last, I knew i would be just like your last.

So now i see that you and me could never be not in even in dreams. I love you, you hate me, I guess it's the way it has to be.

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This article has 4 comments. Post your own now!

*Belle* said...
Feb. 23, 2010 at 6:37 pm
i agree with the other comments--it has a very nice beat and flow to it. i especially like the contrast you bring up, between two very powerful emotions, love and hate, although i think the contrast could be elaborated on a bit more, say with more sentences that explore the emotions of the characters. good work!
MakeItGood said...
Feb. 21, 2010 at 12:41 pm
Very nice! I liked rythm and the rhyme scheme. Although, I felt some certain parts could have flowed a bit more easily. Pretty great overall-- keep on writing! [:
Laughternchoclate said...
Feb. 21, 2010 at 10:02 am
Wow... your writing has that rhythmic beat to it that makes everything rhyme. Some of it was a bit raw, but in my opinion that's a style that a lot of people value. Good job!!!
Nikiblue replied...
Feb. 22, 2010 at 10:08 am
That was very good, although I agree with the others, it was lacking a little something. Keep up the good work! (:
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