I should feel closer to you
Instead I still feel miles away
Even as I sit on your headstone
Your beautiful headstone
Made of a mossy boulder
A boulder from our canyon
The canyon we both love
Where we shared so many rides
Looking for cattle or hunting
Or eating cookies and candy bars
I sit on the blending sod
Remembering every hunt
Recalling every trail ride
Reminiscing each hug and tear
I stand, brushing the grass off my jeans
And touching your beautiful headstone
One last time, one last aching time
I look around a moment, sit back down
And the tears are spilling over
My brother, my wonderful brother
My brave, kind, generous brother
Why did you have to leave?
I can still feel your arms around me
Holding me as I cry over life’s petty problems
And after nearly three years with you gone
Those problems still exist to some
But to me they’re just bumps in the road
While losing you is a mountain I’m still climbing
As I sob, my body shaking,
I hear a throat being cleared
I look up and a close friend is there
Reaching out to me, offering comfort
I flinch away, filled with the graveyard blues